I'm in a San Francisco hostel, and it'll be my last time here. It's been good, and I'll fly off to Vegas later tonight.
Cool.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
stop checking out the guys, jon, and chat with us...
... so said Alexius to me. We were at The Bar, a club at the Gay Mecca of the world, the Castro of San Francisco. But of course I needed to check out the guys, it was the thing to do in the gayest district in the gayest city in the world!
And truth be told, many gay guys are just damn hot lar. Everybody's sexuality is a continuum, between absolute homosexuality and absolute heterosexuality, and mine's probably 90 or 95% hetero. Which of course, means I have 5-10% of gayness and bisexuality to play with. I'd probably never have sex with a guy, or even come close, but sitting down and just looking at hot guys is cool.
Having said that, I really am pretty straight, so my support of gay rights and gay marriage is more a matter of empathy and principle more than anything.
Met this gay shopkeeper, and he gave me a couple of things from his shop as gifts. Took a photo with me too, but I didn't ask his name. He was married to a woman, discovered he was gay, and divorced, and had been living in SF for the past 30 years (he used to be British, now American). Way cool guy. He's dated men ever since his divorce. And his son tends the shop with him, and is also gay. Perhaps it's genetic and/or social after all.
And he asked me (for the first time in my life) if I had a boyfriend. And I was like yeah, I'm single, but I'm straight, and it's just that I really feel very strongly about homo rights. And he told me to have fun at night, but "not do anything (he'd) do". Ah, the British wit, he still hadn't lost it.
But I like gay bars. Had gone to a bar in Chapel Hill on gay night, and I went to 2 bars on consecutive nights in the Castro. Gay clubs tend to be more enjoyable, and less sleazy than straight ones. Gays tend to be nicer, more friendly, more helpful, more agreeable and considerate than straight clubbers. Straight clubbers (males) tend to be aggressive, in-your-face, inconsiderate, and shamelessly horny. I feel that we can have more good clean fun at a gay club than a straight club, cos gays probably appreciate the fact that we just want to have clean fun and keep out of trouble. Sensitivity and a feminine side make them nice and agreeable people to club with, while the excessive testosterone in their blood just makes many straight clubbers rowdy and downright dangerous. Ok I'm overgeneralising, many straight people (guys) are well-behaved too, but I've not seen one instance of misbehaviour in gay clubs while so many straight guys are getting into fights and molesting girls and other bullshit on Franklin Street on Chapel Hill. Whatever. Violence and rowdiness is not equal to manliness, and people need to learn this. But it seems that American society does seem to teach that violence and bad behaviour and molesting/raping girls are tentamount to manliness. The tragedy.
Hrm perhaps I'm so biased cos the only straight clubbers I've been seeing the past few months are stupid horny desperate violent underclassmen on Franklin Street. I hope that maturity will teach them to behave. As well as most of the gays are behaving.
Anyway.
It's so weird that the girls I know who share my ideas on homosexuality are so disagreeable to me in terms of character and compatibility. Girls who feel strongly about politics and social issues like me, just do not click with me. I probably just like girls who are intelligent and interested (in issues), not activist. The girl-next-door type who think with their hearts more than their heads.
And truth be told, many gay guys are just damn hot lar. Everybody's sexuality is a continuum, between absolute homosexuality and absolute heterosexuality, and mine's probably 90 or 95% hetero. Which of course, means I have 5-10% of gayness and bisexuality to play with. I'd probably never have sex with a guy, or even come close, but sitting down and just looking at hot guys is cool.
Having said that, I really am pretty straight, so my support of gay rights and gay marriage is more a matter of empathy and principle more than anything.
Met this gay shopkeeper, and he gave me a couple of things from his shop as gifts. Took a photo with me too, but I didn't ask his name. He was married to a woman, discovered he was gay, and divorced, and had been living in SF for the past 30 years (he used to be British, now American). Way cool guy. He's dated men ever since his divorce. And his son tends the shop with him, and is also gay. Perhaps it's genetic and/or social after all.
And he asked me (for the first time in my life) if I had a boyfriend. And I was like yeah, I'm single, but I'm straight, and it's just that I really feel very strongly about homo rights. And he told me to have fun at night, but "not do anything (he'd) do". Ah, the British wit, he still hadn't lost it.
But I like gay bars. Had gone to a bar in Chapel Hill on gay night, and I went to 2 bars on consecutive nights in the Castro. Gay clubs tend to be more enjoyable, and less sleazy than straight ones. Gays tend to be nicer, more friendly, more helpful, more agreeable and considerate than straight clubbers. Straight clubbers (males) tend to be aggressive, in-your-face, inconsiderate, and shamelessly horny. I feel that we can have more good clean fun at a gay club than a straight club, cos gays probably appreciate the fact that we just want to have clean fun and keep out of trouble. Sensitivity and a feminine side make them nice and agreeable people to club with, while the excessive testosterone in their blood just makes many straight clubbers rowdy and downright dangerous. Ok I'm overgeneralising, many straight people (guys) are well-behaved too, but I've not seen one instance of misbehaviour in gay clubs while so many straight guys are getting into fights and molesting girls and other bullshit on Franklin Street on Chapel Hill. Whatever. Violence and rowdiness is not equal to manliness, and people need to learn this. But it seems that American society does seem to teach that violence and bad behaviour and molesting/raping girls are tentamount to manliness. The tragedy.
Hrm perhaps I'm so biased cos the only straight clubbers I've been seeing the past few months are stupid horny desperate violent underclassmen on Franklin Street. I hope that maturity will teach them to behave. As well as most of the gays are behaving.
Anyway.
It's so weird that the girls I know who share my ideas on homosexuality are so disagreeable to me in terms of character and compatibility. Girls who feel strongly about politics and social issues like me, just do not click with me. I probably just like girls who are intelligent and interested (in issues), not activist. The girl-next-door type who think with their hearts more than their heads.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
The Obedience of a Christian Man
This's the title of one of the books I had to cover for the Reformation. It was written by William Tyndale, and passed to King Henry VIII to read. Eventually it influenced his decision to split from the Catholics and led to the English Reformation.
I was inspired by a poster I saw yesterday at Dallas Fortworth Airport. It read: Dallas Fortworth Supports Our Troops... Till Every One Of Them Is Home. My immediate reaction was: who asked you to send them there in the first place?
I eventually decided that it must be extremely hard to be a Christian and a Politician, indeed. Politicians are involved with popularity, with worldly affairs: everything Christ tells us not to be. George W Bush may not have felt that he needed to invade Afghanistan and Iraq (although, given his intelligence, he may have really felt that "God was telling him to invade Iraq"), but he had to do it as a show of force to his country and to the world. Maybe the circumstances then forced him to do the most un-Christian thing in the world. Anyway I hope that he stops this "God told me to invade Iraq"bullshit cos that's the most ridiculous thing in the world. If he opened his Bible he'd have realised that God told him to turn the other cheek and to forgive his enemies. Christ, upon being betrayed, forebode Peter's use of arms, reprimanded him, and healed the centurion's ear.
Of course, nobody can reach Christ's standard of morality, but let's admit that we cannot do it, rather than justify our worldliness and human desires by claiming "Christ told me to attack this country". Fight a war? Fine. Don't do it in the name of Christ and destroy His name further.
I believe that a true Christian is called to love God above everything, to love his neighbour as himself, to love his enemies, to turn the other cheek, to give up everything for God. It is not about saying the right things or, dare i say it, even believing the right things. Of course, Christ's divinity should not be denied, but some other things that Christian funddies focus on are just stupid. A person can truly believe that God created via Evolution and still be saved. Even our great friend C.S. Lewis believed in Evolution. Is a person damned just because he reads the Bible differently from you? Are the Catholics damned just because they believe in salvation by faith and works (which, may I remind you, is supported by much of Scripture) ? Don't be stupid.
The Obedience of a Christian Man is to live life in a loving, sacrificial, non-violent way, loving God and giving glory to God. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Theresa are good examples. Even Gandhi, though he was not Christian, embodied much of Christ's values. George W Bush has a long way to go. Ending a senseless war does so much more for Christ than the "teaching of Intelligent Design in schools".
I was inspired by a poster I saw yesterday at Dallas Fortworth Airport. It read: Dallas Fortworth Supports Our Troops... Till Every One Of Them Is Home. My immediate reaction was: who asked you to send them there in the first place?
I eventually decided that it must be extremely hard to be a Christian and a Politician, indeed. Politicians are involved with popularity, with worldly affairs: everything Christ tells us not to be. George W Bush may not have felt that he needed to invade Afghanistan and Iraq (although, given his intelligence, he may have really felt that "God was telling him to invade Iraq"), but he had to do it as a show of force to his country and to the world. Maybe the circumstances then forced him to do the most un-Christian thing in the world. Anyway I hope that he stops this "God told me to invade Iraq"bullshit cos that's the most ridiculous thing in the world. If he opened his Bible he'd have realised that God told him to turn the other cheek and to forgive his enemies. Christ, upon being betrayed, forebode Peter's use of arms, reprimanded him, and healed the centurion's ear.
Of course, nobody can reach Christ's standard of morality, but let's admit that we cannot do it, rather than justify our worldliness and human desires by claiming "Christ told me to attack this country". Fight a war? Fine. Don't do it in the name of Christ and destroy His name further.
I believe that a true Christian is called to love God above everything, to love his neighbour as himself, to love his enemies, to turn the other cheek, to give up everything for God. It is not about saying the right things or, dare i say it, even believing the right things. Of course, Christ's divinity should not be denied, but some other things that Christian funddies focus on are just stupid. A person can truly believe that God created via Evolution and still be saved. Even our great friend C.S. Lewis believed in Evolution. Is a person damned just because he reads the Bible differently from you? Are the Catholics damned just because they believe in salvation by faith and works (which, may I remind you, is supported by much of Scripture) ? Don't be stupid.
The Obedience of a Christian Man is to live life in a loving, sacrificial, non-violent way, loving God and giving glory to God. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Theresa are good examples. Even Gandhi, though he was not Christian, embodied much of Christ's values. George W Bush has a long way to go. Ending a senseless war does so much more for Christ than the "teaching of Intelligent Design in schools".
Sunday, December 16, 2007
the exchange experience has really met all my expectations, and more.
not because of the classes, cos i disliked them. other than the reformation one, of course, and maybe the astronomy one. not because of the place too, cos chapel hill is just another place.
probably cos of the school culture, and the people i met. must thank the gang with roy upchurch and friends, they really made my stay special. and the singapore gang too, for always being around, and for spending time with me, in our own unique and familiar singapore way (complete with the ultra-distinctive singapore accents that i could not speak with anybody else)
and of course the travelling... labor day weekend to mike's house and the beach, fall break to chicago with the singaporeans, thanksgiving to roy's place and the mountains. and now, post-exam, to the west coast with the singaporeans! it'll be great :)
not because of the classes, cos i disliked them. other than the reformation one, of course, and maybe the astronomy one. not because of the place too, cos chapel hill is just another place.
probably cos of the school culture, and the people i met. must thank the gang with roy upchurch and friends, they really made my stay special. and the singapore gang too, for always being around, and for spending time with me, in our own unique and familiar singapore way (complete with the ultra-distinctive singapore accents that i could not speak with anybody else)
and of course the travelling... labor day weekend to mike's house and the beach, fall break to chicago with the singaporeans, thanksgiving to roy's place and the mountains. and now, post-exam, to the west coast with the singaporeans! it'll be great :)
Friday, December 14, 2007
i wanted to escape from singapore, and from NUS, but now i'm going back :(
i wish i could stay longer - not to study, or attend classes, cos classes suck no matter where you attend them. but just to chill and be here, and to remain away from singapore.
oh well.
and on top of that, Carolina, and the rest of the USA, is really a fascinating place.
i think i just like the idea of being away, of starting a new life and experencing something new, of just starting afresh and leaving my old life at home.
i wish i could stay longer - not to study, or attend classes, cos classes suck no matter where you attend them. but just to chill and be here, and to remain away from singapore.
oh well.
and on top of that, Carolina, and the rest of the USA, is really a fascinating place.
i think i just like the idea of being away, of starting a new life and experencing something new, of just starting afresh and leaving my old life at home.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
i wish i could stay here longer, but it's been an interesting stay, and above all i learnt that this world is so big, and the opportunities are indeed limitless. it sounds so cliche, but us singaporeans like to keep our worldview to singapore, maybe malaysia and australia, but coming to the USA, and interacting with all kinds of people has made me realise that, really, we can access and live in any part of the world, if we put our minds to it. most of us are well-educated, and any country in the world would love to have a singaporean professional.
i've met people who've spent time in india, russia, latin america, south america, mexico, mongolia, south-east asia... the list is endless.
it'll be cool if i knew spanish, i'd be able to communicate with the vast majority in the world, if i had spanish added to my current repotoire of english and chinese.
and i've also found that, across all segments of humanity, our similarities far outweigh our differences. cultures may be different, but the human experience is common to all of our species. hope, pain, love, joy, sadness, loneliness, desire etc. ... every single human being experiences these, regardless of language and background. every human being desires to hear and be heard by someone else, and to communicate his feelings and thoughts. every human being needs to love and be loved in return, to know and be known in return.
i've met people who've spent time in india, russia, latin america, south america, mexico, mongolia, south-east asia... the list is endless.
it'll be cool if i knew spanish, i'd be able to communicate with the vast majority in the world, if i had spanish added to my current repotoire of english and chinese.
and i've also found that, across all segments of humanity, our similarities far outweigh our differences. cultures may be different, but the human experience is common to all of our species. hope, pain, love, joy, sadness, loneliness, desire etc. ... every single human being experiences these, regardless of language and background. every human being desires to hear and be heard by someone else, and to communicate his feelings and thoughts. every human being needs to love and be loved in return, to know and be known in return.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
i got my C.A. grades for my intro to entrepreneurship module, and i was like ten percentage points below the class average.
i hope i get my C+ and pass the module. tomorrow's my final exam.
i think i have neither the aptitude nor the passion for business. then on hindsight i thank God that He directed me to NUS rather than to SMU, for i'd probably have suffered much there. i'm way more an academic than a business guy.
probably the first time in university that i am officially below average, and it's a business module. i can do history, i can do science, i can do economics, heck i can even do religious studies. but not business. tsk.
but then we can argue that the nature of education in NUS moulded me such that i am now able to handle academic subjects very well but not more hands-on business subjects. but then it must show something about me that i did well, right from semester one in NUS and now i am struggling to pass a damned introduction to entrepreneurship module. actually i think it's so bad cos it's a lot of class discussion and nobody can understand my english so i just shut up and practically get zero for discussion.
oh well. again i should be thankful that i am in NUS rather than SMU. i am REALLY NOT the business type.
and back in 2005 i felt that God was leading me to a place where i would suffer. maybe He was preventing me from going to a place where i would suffer more.
i hope i get my C+ and pass the module. tomorrow's my final exam.
i think i have neither the aptitude nor the passion for business. then on hindsight i thank God that He directed me to NUS rather than to SMU, for i'd probably have suffered much there. i'm way more an academic than a business guy.
probably the first time in university that i am officially below average, and it's a business module. i can do history, i can do science, i can do economics, heck i can even do religious studies. but not business. tsk.
but then we can argue that the nature of education in NUS moulded me such that i am now able to handle academic subjects very well but not more hands-on business subjects. but then it must show something about me that i did well, right from semester one in NUS and now i am struggling to pass a damned introduction to entrepreneurship module. actually i think it's so bad cos it's a lot of class discussion and nobody can understand my english so i just shut up and practically get zero for discussion.
oh well. again i should be thankful that i am in NUS rather than SMU. i am REALLY NOT the business type.
and back in 2005 i felt that God was leading me to a place where i would suffer. maybe He was preventing me from going to a place where i would suffer more.
Monday, December 10, 2007
i didn't blog for 4 years! between 2003 and 2007.
i wish i had, then i'd be able to trace my thoughts during that time.
and laugh at myself.
at least i kept sporadic journal/spiritual journal entries during these years. after a while my spiritual journal became a diary cos i just linked everything together in one big clump - christianity and the rest of my life. it's quite cool.
i need to dig them out when i get back to singapore.
it's nice to be able to trace what we were like, last time.
i wish i had, then i'd be able to trace my thoughts during that time.
and laugh at myself.
at least i kept sporadic journal/spiritual journal entries during these years. after a while my spiritual journal became a diary cos i just linked everything together in one big clump - christianity and the rest of my life. it's quite cool.
i need to dig them out when i get back to singapore.
it's nice to be able to trace what we were like, last time.
3 weeks before going back, and I do wish that I had more time here in the US of A.
Today was probably my last time in Grace Church, took some pictures cos I really had fond memories there. The church is great, they really have good preaching that hits hard and challenges us to live lives for God, and yet they do it in a loving way and in a "try it cos God will reward you and you won't regret it" way, which is a nice way cos carrots always work better than sticks.
No, not in the 21st century.... sticks don't work anymore. The hell-fire and brimstone theology of earlier times has gone out of fashion.
I made some good friends here with the Americans and other internationals, and the weird thing is that I'll probably never ever meet them'all when I leave this country. Like NEVER NEVER EVER since we live on opposite ends of the globe. Really an interesting thought, like they're here for a season and gone forever. Really makes people think about the meaning of friendships.
At least the people in church say to me that "they'll see me in eternity", and I reply the same to them. It's a very beautiful thought, to spend forever and ever with people that are nice and lovely and whom we could not spend time with on this earth. But many of my friends are non-religious, and it's doubtful if we can share this same hope.
Today was probably my last time in Grace Church, took some pictures cos I really had fond memories there. The church is great, they really have good preaching that hits hard and challenges us to live lives for God, and yet they do it in a loving way and in a "try it cos God will reward you and you won't regret it" way, which is a nice way cos carrots always work better than sticks.
No, not in the 21st century.... sticks don't work anymore. The hell-fire and brimstone theology of earlier times has gone out of fashion.
I made some good friends here with the Americans and other internationals, and the weird thing is that I'll probably never ever meet them'all when I leave this country. Like NEVER NEVER EVER since we live on opposite ends of the globe. Really an interesting thought, like they're here for a season and gone forever. Really makes people think about the meaning of friendships.
At least the people in church say to me that "they'll see me in eternity", and I reply the same to them. It's a very beautiful thought, to spend forever and ever with people that are nice and lovely and whom we could not spend time with on this earth. But many of my friends are non-religious, and it's doubtful if we can share this same hope.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I'm a bit confused by the blessings/humility conundrum. Are we supposed to ask for material blessings or suffering and poverty as Christians? I'm just very uncomfortable with the mega-church prosperity doctrine image. All these big churches and BMWs while people are poor and hungry, it seems to be similar to the Catholic Church building St. Peter's Basilica while the people were starving. Mother Theresa and the various Christian ascetics over the years, who gave their lives to live in monasteries and help the poor.... these people command so much more respect than Pastor Kong Hee or Joseph Prince or whoever.
Ok i just think it's fundementally wrong for Christians to be so rich. Or, if we were so rich, Christians should stop wondering why people aren't queueing up to convert ...
The irony is that I'm a rich badass myself. Ok not rich, but comfortable.
Well at least I confess that I'm a badass, I don't try to pretend that I'm doing great as a Christian, and come up with some "Prosperity Doctine" rubbish. Prosperity Doctrine is materialism masked in religious terms.
Anyway, on the topic of work and money, people are often enslaved to their work. Work eats up their lives. We should be looking at full lives, not full employment and high grades in school.
www.whywork.org
Ok i just think it's fundementally wrong for Christians to be so rich. Or, if we were so rich, Christians should stop wondering why people aren't queueing up to convert ...
The irony is that I'm a rich badass myself. Ok not rich, but comfortable.
Well at least I confess that I'm a badass, I don't try to pretend that I'm doing great as a Christian, and come up with some "Prosperity Doctine" rubbish. Prosperity Doctrine is materialism masked in religious terms.
Anyway, on the topic of work and money, people are often enslaved to their work. Work eats up their lives. We should be looking at full lives, not full employment and high grades in school.
www.whywork.org
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Shakespeare's Hamlet reminds me of myself in some ways. Of course I'm referring to Prince Hamlet, the brooding, self-reflecting, doubting, questioning yet impetuous protagonist in the play. He seems to lack the effervescence that I probably have somewhere inside my character, but he seems to contain several very contradicting sides, which I sometimes do.
The compulsary reading one Christian book every week for my module has probably done me good. These books come from a myraid of writers, all from different theological perspectives: Catholics, Lutherans, Anabaptists, Anglicans... but they are all men who try to love and obey God, abeit with very different ideas on how to get along doing it. And it really has blessed my spiritual journey no end. I've had some spiritual questions answered, and after reading so many contradicting ideas on Christianity I've come to decide that Christianity is indeed a faith, requring much blind faith, and I've become much less neurotic about having to "prove" Christianity.
And of course Peter Kauffmann, who is both an intellectual and a man of faith... he's inspired me and shown that it is indeed possible to be both. It's really God's blessing that my faith can indeed be strengthened rather than shaken by the taking of a Christianity module at a liberal arts college... I was fully prepared to have to fight for my life to defend my Christianity because of the module, but instead I've been inspired to be a better Christian by it. It's a small miracle.
Come on, UNC is the college that produced the skeptic Bart Ehrmann, the Christian pastor-turned-agnostic who "once was found but now is lost".
And of course, I've been blessed by the Singaporean cell group and by my relationships with the people in it.... and by Grace Church, which has always encouraged me and challenged me to greater Christian piety, and by the "Compline" services every Sunday night at the Episcopal Chapel of the Cross, the IVCF Large Group meetings on Thursday nights, and by many many other things... been encouraged by Shannon's salvation and by the spiritual growth of the people around me. I came over here expecting to have to struggle to keep my faith but indeed God has protected and preserved me and helped me to grow.
A passing thought: George W Bush claims that he is led by Jesus to declare war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Whatever happened to "love your enemies" and "turn the other cheek"?
I think "turn the other cheek" is a very liberating philosophy. It's almost zen, a bit like Buddhuism, but it's also different in that it's based on faith that God will protect and make everything good, and comfort, and bless and reward in the afterlife.
But much of our problems come from desire and competition: competition for grades, jobs, promotions, friends, mates (i.e. girlfriends). Competition causes so many problems, if we could really turn the other cheek and just be content with being last in life, we would be happier.
and Jesus did advocate being last in life: for who is last shall become first.
The compulsary reading one Christian book every week for my module has probably done me good. These books come from a myraid of writers, all from different theological perspectives: Catholics, Lutherans, Anabaptists, Anglicans... but they are all men who try to love and obey God, abeit with very different ideas on how to get along doing it. And it really has blessed my spiritual journey no end. I've had some spiritual questions answered, and after reading so many contradicting ideas on Christianity I've come to decide that Christianity is indeed a faith, requring much blind faith, and I've become much less neurotic about having to "prove" Christianity.
And of course Peter Kauffmann, who is both an intellectual and a man of faith... he's inspired me and shown that it is indeed possible to be both. It's really God's blessing that my faith can indeed be strengthened rather than shaken by the taking of a Christianity module at a liberal arts college... I was fully prepared to have to fight for my life to defend my Christianity because of the module, but instead I've been inspired to be a better Christian by it. It's a small miracle.
Come on, UNC is the college that produced the skeptic Bart Ehrmann, the Christian pastor-turned-agnostic who "once was found but now is lost".
And of course, I've been blessed by the Singaporean cell group and by my relationships with the people in it.... and by Grace Church, which has always encouraged me and challenged me to greater Christian piety, and by the "Compline" services every Sunday night at the Episcopal Chapel of the Cross, the IVCF Large Group meetings on Thursday nights, and by many many other things... been encouraged by Shannon's salvation and by the spiritual growth of the people around me. I came over here expecting to have to struggle to keep my faith but indeed God has protected and preserved me and helped me to grow.
A passing thought: George W Bush claims that he is led by Jesus to declare war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Whatever happened to "love your enemies" and "turn the other cheek"?
I think "turn the other cheek" is a very liberating philosophy. It's almost zen, a bit like Buddhuism, but it's also different in that it's based on faith that God will protect and make everything good, and comfort, and bless and reward in the afterlife.
But much of our problems come from desire and competition: competition for grades, jobs, promotions, friends, mates (i.e. girlfriends). Competition causes so many problems, if we could really turn the other cheek and just be content with being last in life, we would be happier.
and Jesus did advocate being last in life: for who is last shall become first.
Monday, November 26, 2007
life's not terribly fun now, but God's reminding me that He's in control
Church yesterday was about God requiring that we have faith in Him in all things, and Quiet Time showed a passage reminding us that the Father is in control of our situations, of the today and tomorrow, that He "remembers that we are dust" and will not allow us to be tempted more than we can bear. And last evening I attended the Episcopal Service at the Chapel of the Cross, which proclaimed Christ as Christ the King over our life's circumstances, reminding that we have victory in Christ, final victory no matter what life throws at us. Apparently the last Sunday of the Liturgical year was yesterday, and it's the Sunday of "Christ the King".
Everytime I seek God God will reassure me, but often in life I turn my attentions away, or get distracted, or my faith in God just fails and the problem(s) I face seem so much bigger. Today I just felt that the world was terribly grey over dinner at Lenoir... it's the same old "breakup" condition, which feels terrible every single time. Reading her blog is the most torturing thing in the world, and I should not do it anymore.
I squeezed in Pulp Fiction today, and it was quite a disappointing movie I think. But I'm just getting into the "watching movies at the bottom of the UL" mode... they really have a million movies there, ostensibly for academic purposes but probably for some students to de-stress as well. And I'm doing that to get my mind off things.
But I spent my evening with Zhiqi and Alexius, and it was great, we slacked in the computer lab and I watched YouTube, and we had food at Time Out and played the piano at Cobb's first level. The piano was the best, it was such a good sing-along session. I love music, it takes my mind off things. All in all it was a good night, a fun night, and I should thank God for it.
Church yesterday was about God requiring that we have faith in Him in all things, and Quiet Time showed a passage reminding us that the Father is in control of our situations, of the today and tomorrow, that He "remembers that we are dust" and will not allow us to be tempted more than we can bear. And last evening I attended the Episcopal Service at the Chapel of the Cross, which proclaimed Christ as Christ the King over our life's circumstances, reminding that we have victory in Christ, final victory no matter what life throws at us. Apparently the last Sunday of the Liturgical year was yesterday, and it's the Sunday of "Christ the King".
Everytime I seek God God will reassure me, but often in life I turn my attentions away, or get distracted, or my faith in God just fails and the problem(s) I face seem so much bigger. Today I just felt that the world was terribly grey over dinner at Lenoir... it's the same old "breakup" condition, which feels terrible every single time. Reading her blog is the most torturing thing in the world, and I should not do it anymore.
I squeezed in Pulp Fiction today, and it was quite a disappointing movie I think. But I'm just getting into the "watching movies at the bottom of the UL" mode... they really have a million movies there, ostensibly for academic purposes but probably for some students to de-stress as well. And I'm doing that to get my mind off things.
But I spent my evening with Zhiqi and Alexius, and it was great, we slacked in the computer lab and I watched YouTube, and we had food at Time Out and played the piano at Cobb's first level. The piano was the best, it was such a good sing-along session. I love music, it takes my mind off things. All in all it was a good night, a fun night, and I should thank God for it.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
my mandarin and cantonese are both pretty bad, but i think that my cantonese is getting better (less bad) than my mandarin. this is fantastic. i love screwing up stupid meaningless utilitarian profit-driven government policies like the Speak Mandarin Campaign. the government has no idea how much we're losing by letting our venacular dialects die out, it is so so sad.
I'm at Roy's place for Thanksgiving weekend!! It's in a small town called Cherryville, NC, with a population of around 5,000. I went around town just now with Roy and Felix and the entire town knows one another, it's so cool. And even if they didn't recognise Roy, they'd recognise his surname because all the families knew one another. So he'd just have to say "Upchurch" and everyone would accord him friendship and respect.
And Roy's brother Will is 24 and he is getting married next year and he plans to spend his entire life in this small town tending the family business of a plant/greenhouse store.
This is amazing. This is the life, to just raise a simple family in the American outback, with acres and acres of empty land and farms and forests all around. And with King's Mountain nearby, and in a simple town with absolutely nothing, but one that is peaceful, wholesome and simple.
Roy's family owns 50 acres of land, and it contains this amazing forest, with a large pond right smack on the fringes of it. This is so cool.
I have my own room for the next few days! Complete with a computer with internet access, this is the life man.
Maybe moving to Cherryville, or a similarly small and simple town, is a good idea. True, there'll be so many drawbacks and such, but I think that on the whole it'll be superior to trying to survive in the retarded rat race, that everyone tells us to take part in. I'm a simple person, I think. I don't need money or fame or success to be happy.
Went to a Chinese Restaurant just now for dinner takeouts. The owners come from HK, and they have this little small 9 year old boy who just stared at me the moment I entered the store. He probably doesn't see many of "his kind around" here. So I spoke to him, first in English then in Mandarin then in Cantonese. He probably loves having a Chinese brother around.
And his aunt came out and I asked if they had Chinese tea in Cantonese and she just stared at me and suddenly she was so excited cos I'm probably one of the few fellow Chinese people she'd ever meet the entire year. And she was so friendly and so excited and smiling so widely and asking me so many questions in Cantonese. They'd lived in Cherryville for the past 7 years, and in California for the 8 years before that, and they still miss home and return to HK once a year to visit their family. Race and language really can build bridges rapidly, especially in an area where we are in the minority.
Not to say that the Americans are not nice. Many Southerners I've met have been so hospitable. First Mike's family, with his mom Dwane offering to keep me in her prayers, and now Roy's family as well. I've really been received with amazing open-ness and hospitality, and I am so thankful to God, and to my friends and their family, for that.
And Roy's brother Will is 24 and he is getting married next year and he plans to spend his entire life in this small town tending the family business of a plant/greenhouse store.
This is amazing. This is the life, to just raise a simple family in the American outback, with acres and acres of empty land and farms and forests all around. And with King's Mountain nearby, and in a simple town with absolutely nothing, but one that is peaceful, wholesome and simple.
Roy's family owns 50 acres of land, and it contains this amazing forest, with a large pond right smack on the fringes of it. This is so cool.
I have my own room for the next few days! Complete with a computer with internet access, this is the life man.
Maybe moving to Cherryville, or a similarly small and simple town, is a good idea. True, there'll be so many drawbacks and such, but I think that on the whole it'll be superior to trying to survive in the retarded rat race, that everyone tells us to take part in. I'm a simple person, I think. I don't need money or fame or success to be happy.
Went to a Chinese Restaurant just now for dinner takeouts. The owners come from HK, and they have this little small 9 year old boy who just stared at me the moment I entered the store. He probably doesn't see many of "his kind around" here. So I spoke to him, first in English then in Mandarin then in Cantonese. He probably loves having a Chinese brother around.
And his aunt came out and I asked if they had Chinese tea in Cantonese and she just stared at me and suddenly she was so excited cos I'm probably one of the few fellow Chinese people she'd ever meet the entire year. And she was so friendly and so excited and smiling so widely and asking me so many questions in Cantonese. They'd lived in Cherryville for the past 7 years, and in California for the 8 years before that, and they still miss home and return to HK once a year to visit their family. Race and language really can build bridges rapidly, especially in an area where we are in the minority.
Not to say that the Americans are not nice. Many Southerners I've met have been so hospitable. First Mike's family, with his mom Dwane offering to keep me in her prayers, and now Roy's family as well. I've really been received with amazing open-ness and hospitality, and I am so thankful to God, and to my friends and their family, for that.
Friday, November 16, 2007
i just watched silence of the lambs. it's really an extremely good movie. hannibal lector is brilliant intellectually, just that he could do with more moral values. but then again, he's a serial killer. i suppose they operate in a different world from the rest of us.
there was a march for peace today, in the pit. students from the chapel hill "students for a democratic society" marched and shouted slogans for the US to withdraw its troops from Iraq, and to stop recruiting soldiers from Chapel Hill. they were very vociferous and vocal, and their shouting was in one accord. much like BMT soldiers cheering on bookout day.
i miss someone i guess, but my guess is that that feeling may not be reciprocated. not that anybody needs to feel guilty about it though, perhaps these are just facts of life.
there was a march for peace today, in the pit. students from the chapel hill "students for a democratic society" marched and shouted slogans for the US to withdraw its troops from Iraq, and to stop recruiting soldiers from Chapel Hill. they were very vociferous and vocal, and their shouting was in one accord. much like BMT soldiers cheering on bookout day.
i miss someone i guess, but my guess is that that feeling may not be reciprocated. not that anybody needs to feel guilty about it though, perhaps these are just facts of life.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Monday, October 8, 2007
haha faith tan mentioned that somebody my age says that the PAP is God too, just like me.
except he's serious.
can't blame him, actually. faith said that he hails from a neighbourhood school, and it's likely that there the culture would tend to be more conformist towards the politics of the country, so he internalised these ideas.
like it or not, we are all products of society, products of culture. my own class in secondary school was a hotbed of dissent, disillusionment, cynicism and of questioning authorities and assumptions, that's why i turned out like this. and what right do i have to assert that my way of thinking is superior to this PAP-worshipping guy's?
Absolutely none.
------------------------------------------------
On another note, it takes a really strong minded guy to not be a product of culture, and of society. I think it's nearly impossible. Either one accepts culture, or he rebels against it, thereby making him counter-cultural. I doubt anyone can be a truly independent thinker. Human ideas were developed over centuries of bouncing ideas off each other, anyway.
except he's serious.
can't blame him, actually. faith said that he hails from a neighbourhood school, and it's likely that there the culture would tend to be more conformist towards the politics of the country, so he internalised these ideas.
like it or not, we are all products of society, products of culture. my own class in secondary school was a hotbed of dissent, disillusionment, cynicism and of questioning authorities and assumptions, that's why i turned out like this. and what right do i have to assert that my way of thinking is superior to this PAP-worshipping guy's?
Absolutely none.
------------------------------------------------
On another note, it takes a really strong minded guy to not be a product of culture, and of society. I think it's nearly impossible. Either one accepts culture, or he rebels against it, thereby making him counter-cultural. I doubt anyone can be a truly independent thinker. Human ideas were developed over centuries of bouncing ideas off each other, anyway.
i am so convinced that the humourless singaporean government would probably ban sex if we didn't need the babies.
i predict that in 15 years the government would make in-vitro fertilisation compulsory for all couples, then ban sex.
damn it'll be better if the government taxed sex. you gotta pay money for the right to shag. then you hang a sign at your door "sex under consent of the government". if you can't afford it, too bad. test-tube babies for you, kiddo. you don't get to shag.
damn i am such a genius i should be employed as a government planner. PAP, i am your new hero! fun, humour, entertainment and common sense are destructive to society! employ me and together we shall eliminate vices such as these. and of course, the twin evils, that are too vile to even mention.
free speech and democracy.
damn, the mention of these words sends shivers down my spine. i deserve damnation and eternity in hell for even thinking of the twin evils! we must serve only our God! the one and only true God!
Economic progress. Wealth. Money.
yep, that's our God, by three names. He is a triune God. and our holy prophets, to lead us in the way of our God must be revered too. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Goh. Bow to our holy prophets and our one true triune God!
-------------------------------------------------------------
my rant's partially due to the eye-opening experience i'm having in the United States.
they actually have guaranteed rights under the constitution! they actually have free speech!when a civillian is stopped by the police he has to right to remain silent and not show an identity and not agree to a search!
Singapore cannot learn from them. Free speech, common sense, and civil liberties will lead to the collapse of society.
Political dissent! That is the devil! His angels are the WP, SDP and SDA! The Devil and his angels must be sent to hell (Changi Prison), where they belong!
We must continue to obey and worship the Father, the Son and the Holy Goh. Blessed be their names forever and ever.Amen.
-------------------------------------------------------------
to be frank most people get by without running into too much trouble with the government. sometimes we even forget that the government exists.
but if you show discontent or rebelliousness, beware cos the government will get your ass.
a vengeful creature, the PAP is.
just look at the colourful record of opposition MPs in exile, bankrupt or in jail.
that's why everybody keeps their golden mouths shut.
free speech is killed in the culture of obedience.
you better don't speak up if you want to retain your jobs, your life, your sanity.
when we can have so much economic prosperity, what is fairness, free speech and democracy? just toe the line, my friends. 人民安居乐业, could we ask for more from our benevolent loving government?
continue worshipping the Holy Trinity my friends, all will be fine.
(end of satire) to be frank, the biggest lie that Singaporeans believe in is that the God they worship (money) will bring them happiness. The happiest people in the world are in Vanuatu, which incidentally happens to be one of the poorest countries in the world. Singapore is pathetically low in the happiness ranking, on all indicators. Go figure. Money is absolutely impotent when it comes to the cause of improving the happiness of its owners.
Bet you din't know that Singapore ranked so low on the happiness rankings, right? No wonder. The media is not known for reporting lists that we rank lowly in. But every year we are the best airport/seaport/landport/red light district in the entire world. And the media makes bloody sure that you are totally aware of that fact.
i predict that in 15 years the government would make in-vitro fertilisation compulsory for all couples, then ban sex.
damn it'll be better if the government taxed sex. you gotta pay money for the right to shag. then you hang a sign at your door "sex under consent of the government". if you can't afford it, too bad. test-tube babies for you, kiddo. you don't get to shag.
damn i am such a genius i should be employed as a government planner. PAP, i am your new hero! fun, humour, entertainment and common sense are destructive to society! employ me and together we shall eliminate vices such as these. and of course, the twin evils, that are too vile to even mention.
free speech and democracy.
damn, the mention of these words sends shivers down my spine. i deserve damnation and eternity in hell for even thinking of the twin evils! we must serve only our God! the one and only true God!
Economic progress. Wealth. Money.
yep, that's our God, by three names. He is a triune God. and our holy prophets, to lead us in the way of our God must be revered too. The Father, the Son, and the Holy Goh. Bow to our holy prophets and our one true triune God!
-------------------------------------------------------------
my rant's partially due to the eye-opening experience i'm having in the United States.
they actually have guaranteed rights under the constitution! they actually have free speech!when a civillian is stopped by the police he has to right to remain silent and not show an identity and not agree to a search!
Singapore cannot learn from them. Free speech, common sense, and civil liberties will lead to the collapse of society.
Political dissent! That is the devil! His angels are the WP, SDP and SDA! The Devil and his angels must be sent to hell (Changi Prison), where they belong!
We must continue to obey and worship the Father, the Son and the Holy Goh. Blessed be their names forever and ever.Amen.
-------------------------------------------------------------
to be frank most people get by without running into too much trouble with the government. sometimes we even forget that the government exists.
but if you show discontent or rebelliousness, beware cos the government will get your ass.
a vengeful creature, the PAP is.
just look at the colourful record of opposition MPs in exile, bankrupt or in jail.
that's why everybody keeps their golden mouths shut.
free speech is killed in the culture of obedience.
you better don't speak up if you want to retain your jobs, your life, your sanity.
when we can have so much economic prosperity, what is fairness, free speech and democracy? just toe the line, my friends. 人民安居乐业, could we ask for more from our benevolent loving government?
continue worshipping the Holy Trinity my friends, all will be fine.
(end of satire) to be frank, the biggest lie that Singaporeans believe in is that the God they worship (money) will bring them happiness. The happiest people in the world are in Vanuatu, which incidentally happens to be one of the poorest countries in the world. Singapore is pathetically low in the happiness ranking, on all indicators. Go figure. Money is absolutely impotent when it comes to the cause of improving the happiness of its owners.
Bet you din't know that Singapore ranked so low on the happiness rankings, right? No wonder. The media is not known for reporting lists that we rank lowly in. But every year we are the best airport/seaport/landport/red light district in the entire world. And the media makes bloody sure that you are totally aware of that fact.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
WHEN IS THE IFTAR? :(
One more hour! :(
ok there's something wrong with the time that you see. it's actually 6.19 pm now.
one more hour before the sun sets.
i should shower man.
Actually Ramadan is a super good idea man, for people to fast, and reflect, and contemplate, and get back to God. it's a month of purity, of spiritual reflection, of holiness, of abstinence.
we Christians should copy this idea.
One more hour! :(
ok there's something wrong with the time that you see. it's actually 6.19 pm now.
one more hour before the sun sets.
i should shower man.
Actually Ramadan is a super good idea man, for people to fast, and reflect, and contemplate, and get back to God. it's a month of purity, of spiritual reflection, of holiness, of abstinence.
we Christians should copy this idea.
i'm hungry now, and thirsty.
to do a fast according to the times of Ramadan is a good experience, but I guess it could be pretty pointless.
it's probably a bit late and overdue, but i guess i should dedicate my fast to God's glory, the God i believe in. to put into practice some of the self-denial and self-control that Jesus preached.
to be frank one can pull off a fast on sheer willpower. i don't even need that much willpower. but i guess if we dedicate it to God, and see the meaning i can get from it as a Christian, it becomes that much more meaningful.
Christ teaches us to abandon the world, to focus on the spiritual, and fasting from food and drink does teach us these lessons in a very practical way.
and of course a fast is just a diet if we don't read God's Word and commune with the Divine during the duration. so i just read some Psalms, and the devotion from the Daily Bread, and sit down and let my soul (or tried to let my soul) communicate with God.
many people do these things everyday, but i haven't done it in a long while.
to do a fast according to the times of Ramadan is a good experience, but I guess it could be pretty pointless.
it's probably a bit late and overdue, but i guess i should dedicate my fast to God's glory, the God i believe in. to put into practice some of the self-denial and self-control that Jesus preached.
to be frank one can pull off a fast on sheer willpower. i don't even need that much willpower. but i guess if we dedicate it to God, and see the meaning i can get from it as a Christian, it becomes that much more meaningful.
Christ teaches us to abandon the world, to focus on the spiritual, and fasting from food and drink does teach us these lessons in a very practical way.
and of course a fast is just a diet if we don't read God's Word and commune with the Divine during the duration. so i just read some Psalms, and the devotion from the Daily Bread, and sit down and let my soul (or tried to let my soul) communicate with God.
many people do these things everyday, but i haven't done it in a long while.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
i'm going to fast tomorrow!
for the UNC fast-a-thon organised by the Muslim Society. For every non-Muslim who fasts they got businesses to donate a sum of money to the poor. to the outsider (i.e. me), fasting is probably the toughest part about being a Muslim.
I went for an event organised by the Inter-Faith Alliance yesterday, when we experienced an Iftar (Breaking of Fast) by the Muslims. I think they have to say a special prayer at Iftar.
prayers by the Muslims at Iftar, at yesterday's event.
I went for an event organised by the Inter-Faith Alliance yesterday, when we experienced an Iftar (Breaking of Fast) by the Muslims. I think they have to say a special prayer at Iftar.
prayers by the Muslims at Iftar, at yesterday's event.
hope to have time to attend more Inter-Faith Alliance meetings.
Today's dinner was at Penang's, this terribly overpriced resturant run by people from Penang (duh). But it's Malaysian/Singaporean food! and the owners speak Malaysian Cantonese i.e. my kind of Cantonese. I felt a sense of affinity, probably because of the dialect and the knowledge that we come from the same Peninsular. Like, among this mess of Americans (hak guai and guai loh - 黑鬼， 鬼佬), we are there, we're Chinese, and we're Malaysian/Singaporean.
Today's dinner was at Penang's, this terribly overpriced resturant run by people from Penang (duh). But it's Malaysian/Singaporean food! and the owners speak Malaysian Cantonese i.e. my kind of Cantonese. I felt a sense of affinity, probably because of the dialect and the knowledge that we come from the same Peninsular. Like, among this mess of Americans (hak guai and guai loh - 黑鬼， 鬼佬), we are there, we're Chinese, and we're Malaysian/Singaporean.
frigging 12 US dollars Mee Goreng and Grass Jelly at Penang's.
Friday, September 21, 2007
there's IVCF on thursdays, Singapore cell on Fridays, Church on Sundays. I think i'll prob go to Grace Church full time, it's so similar to Bartley in many ways.
and there's a mountain of Christian (and anti-Christian) influences, through friends, people I meet, and books i read. every week i have compulsary readings, some of them by good godly men, for my Reformation class. and the professor actually demands a high level of participation, so i gotta do my readings for that class. which is very rare for me. i never ever do readings. this is the first course that i'm doing every reading for. partially cos the prof demands it, partially cos it's so interesting. it gives me new insight into my faith.
Erasmus encourages us to carry the cross, to abandon the world. he wrote against the Catholic Church of the 1500s, which was corrupt and worldly and materialistic and self-centered and not following the example of Christ. the beauty is that these traits plague Christians to this very day.
Luther espouses the way of the cross too, as a means to salvation. to rely on Christ's grace rather than to work our way to salvation.
however this week's Luther reading will be very hard to stomach. It's entitled "The Bondage of the Will", and in it Luther argues against humans having any free will at all after Original Sin, and argues that God predetermines who will be saved and who will not be saved. the worst thing is that Luther is actually extremely convincing. (helped by the fact that i am a very gullible reader).
of course the problem is that we are made to sound like robots just obeying God. and what of those millions of non-Christians, who, under our belief system, are going to hell? does God send them there? and what of the whole "we are made in God's image" thing - is God a robot too?
actually, perhaps. God is bound to do good, just as we are bound by Original Sin to do evil.
Ok whatever. these are issues that will never ever be resolved. but this week's reading does paint humanity in a bad light. and God too, for he "hardened Pharoh's heart".
and there's a mountain of Christian (and anti-Christian) influences, through friends, people I meet, and books i read. every week i have compulsary readings, some of them by good godly men, for my Reformation class. and the professor actually demands a high level of participation, so i gotta do my readings for that class. which is very rare for me. i never ever do readings. this is the first course that i'm doing every reading for. partially cos the prof demands it, partially cos it's so interesting. it gives me new insight into my faith.
Erasmus encourages us to carry the cross, to abandon the world. he wrote against the Catholic Church of the 1500s, which was corrupt and worldly and materialistic and self-centered and not following the example of Christ. the beauty is that these traits plague Christians to this very day.
Luther espouses the way of the cross too, as a means to salvation. to rely on Christ's grace rather than to work our way to salvation.
however this week's Luther reading will be very hard to stomach. It's entitled "The Bondage of the Will", and in it Luther argues against humans having any free will at all after Original Sin, and argues that God predetermines who will be saved and who will not be saved. the worst thing is that Luther is actually extremely convincing. (helped by the fact that i am a very gullible reader).
of course the problem is that we are made to sound like robots just obeying God. and what of those millions of non-Christians, who, under our belief system, are going to hell? does God send them there? and what of the whole "we are made in God's image" thing - is God a robot too?
actually, perhaps. God is bound to do good, just as we are bound by Original Sin to do evil.
Ok whatever. these are issues that will never ever be resolved. but this week's reading does paint humanity in a bad light. and God too, for he "hardened Pharoh's heart".
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Come outside and see a brand new day
The troubles in your mind will blow away
It's easy to believe they're here to stay
But you won't find them standing in your way
Se a vida e', I love you
Come outside and feel the morning sun
Se a vida e', I love you
Life is much more simple when you're young
Come on, essa vida e'
That's the way life is
That's the way life is
Although we see the world through different eyes
We share the same idea of paradise
So don't search in the starts for signs of love
Look around your life, you'll find enough
Why do you want to sit alone in gothic gloom
Surrounded by the ghosts of love that haunt your room?
Somewhere there's a different door to open wide
You gotta throw those skeletons out of your closet and come outside
So you will see a brand new day
The troubles in your mind will blow away
It's easy to believe they're here to stay
But you won't find them standing in your way
- Se A Vida E' by the Pet Shop Boys
I love this song. Listen to it. It's so upbeat, sunny, cheerful, optimistic, energetic. It's the song of yuppies, of youthful dreamers. Everyone's had their share of missed opportunities, bad decisions, and tear-jerking heartbreaks, but "you gotta throw those skeletons out of your closet and come outside". There's a world to change and explore, people to meet, dreams to fulfill.
I just need to combat the cynicism, pessimism and laziness in me. To seize the day and step out of my comfort zone. To approach the world with energy and enthusiasm and purpose. To know where I'm headed, and to be discontent with letting time just fly by me. Energy, man, energy.
I first heard this song when I was 13, it was a song we used in our GEP class's History production. 10 years have since flew by, so quickly, and another 50 will zoom by in an instant. I don't want to be on my deathbed and realise that I've let my life slip away. Time masters us, circumstances master us, and at the end of the day you realise that everything has passed you by and you've been a passenger on this planet.
---------------------------------------------
GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying :
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.
Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may go marry :
For having lost but once your prime
You may for ever tarry.
Robert Herrick - To The Virgins, To Make Much Of Time.
The troubles in your mind will blow away
It's easy to believe they're here to stay
But you won't find them standing in your way
Se a vida e', I love you
Come outside and feel the morning sun
Se a vida e', I love you
Life is much more simple when you're young
Come on, essa vida e'
That's the way life is
That's the way life is
Although we see the world through different eyes
We share the same idea of paradise
So don't search in the starts for signs of love
Look around your life, you'll find enough
Why do you want to sit alone in gothic gloom
Surrounded by the ghosts of love that haunt your room?
Somewhere there's a different door to open wide
You gotta throw those skeletons out of your closet and come outside
So you will see a brand new day
The troubles in your mind will blow away
It's easy to believe they're here to stay
But you won't find them standing in your way
- Se A Vida E' by the Pet Shop Boys
I love this song. Listen to it. It's so upbeat, sunny, cheerful, optimistic, energetic. It's the song of yuppies, of youthful dreamers. Everyone's had their share of missed opportunities, bad decisions, and tear-jerking heartbreaks, but "you gotta throw those skeletons out of your closet and come outside". There's a world to change and explore, people to meet, dreams to fulfill.
I just need to combat the cynicism, pessimism and laziness in me. To seize the day and step out of my comfort zone. To approach the world with energy and enthusiasm and purpose. To know where I'm headed, and to be discontent with letting time just fly by me. Energy, man, energy.
I first heard this song when I was 13, it was a song we used in our GEP class's History production. 10 years have since flew by, so quickly, and another 50 will zoom by in an instant. I don't want to be on my deathbed and realise that I've let my life slip away. Time masters us, circumstances master us, and at the end of the day you realise that everything has passed you by and you've been a passenger on this planet.
---------------------------------------------
GATHER ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old time is still a-flying :
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying.
Then be not coy, but use your time,
And while ye may go marry :
For having lost but once your prime
You may for ever tarry.
Robert Herrick - To The Virgins, To Make Much Of Time.
Thursday, September 6, 2007
tennis, federer vs roddick
and i was watching this tennis match in the lounge in my hostel (Cobb), and i was surrounded by a million american freshmen, who were all madly supporting Roddick.
i mean, good man, good to support and love your own country. but then, from the way they made some comments, you get the idea that they really think that america is god.
i dunno if they were sarcastic, or joking, but comments such as "is there any country that we haven't beaten? oh yeah, vietnam, but we almost won there" show a certain level of cocki-ness and stupidity.
i was so tempted to turn around and say, "i'm not trying to be rude, but you guys may want to know that there are many many people out there who hate america". i didn't in the end, cos it was rude - i'm in their country, afterall - and cos i'd have gotten wallopped by them all big brawny white guys.
i'm glad that the americans i hang out with (roy, mike, sagar, seth, dan etc) hate their country's foreign policy too, and do not express blind support for the usa. i respect them, and i think they are intelligent. bloody, please just be critical of your own country's excesses, and don't think that you own the whole world. anyway, the way they are running into deficits every year, very soon every american building will be owned by a chinese or japanese company.
this is the south, complete with rednecks and stuff. i was warned by my friends about them, and little did i expect to find redneck behaviour on campus.
reminded me of a song we heard on radio on the way to mike's place (in seth's car). it was entitled "do you remember", and was talking about the tragedy about 9-11 and about how america should contine with the iraq war and the war on terror, and blow out osama's ass. it was so bloody blatant and funny, i thought i was tongue in cheek, but my american pals assured me that it was not. like, people actually believe that it is america's god-given right to blow out people's asses.
i could not believe it.
i mean, good man, good to support and love your own country. but then, from the way they made some comments, you get the idea that they really think that america is god.
i dunno if they were sarcastic, or joking, but comments such as "is there any country that we haven't beaten? oh yeah, vietnam, but we almost won there" show a certain level of cocki-ness and stupidity.
i was so tempted to turn around and say, "i'm not trying to be rude, but you guys may want to know that there are many many people out there who hate america". i didn't in the end, cos it was rude - i'm in their country, afterall - and cos i'd have gotten wallopped by them all big brawny white guys.
i'm glad that the americans i hang out with (roy, mike, sagar, seth, dan etc) hate their country's foreign policy too, and do not express blind support for the usa. i respect them, and i think they are intelligent. bloody, please just be critical of your own country's excesses, and don't think that you own the whole world. anyway, the way they are running into deficits every year, very soon every american building will be owned by a chinese or japanese company.
this is the south, complete with rednecks and stuff. i was warned by my friends about them, and little did i expect to find redneck behaviour on campus.
reminded me of a song we heard on radio on the way to mike's place (in seth's car). it was entitled "do you remember", and was talking about the tragedy about 9-11 and about how america should contine with the iraq war and the war on terror, and blow out osama's ass. it was so bloody blatant and funny, i thought i was tongue in cheek, but my american pals assured me that it was not. like, people actually believe that it is america's god-given right to blow out people's asses.
i could not believe it.
the reformation...
... is the title of a module I'm taking now, easily my favourite. It appears that UNC has one of the strongest religious studies departments around, third in the world i heard. and my professor, Peter Kaufmann, is one of the best in the world in the study of medival Christianity.
i love it. i think i need to find out about the roots of my faith, much like a child must find out who his parents are.
i may wanna do Masters in Christian Studies or something like that. Probably not in a theological college though, but in a secular school. Studying for knowledge, not to be a pastor.
i love it. i think i need to find out about the roots of my faith, much like a child must find out who his parents are.
i may wanna do Masters in Christian Studies or something like that. Probably not in a theological college though, but in a secular school. Studying for knowledge, not to be a pastor.
the bible says that homosexuality causes brain damage...
... so says "jessie", another hell-fire and brimstone preacher i encountered at the Pit today.
Jessie the preacher!
The notion, of course, drew loud guffaws from the crowd, which included the self-termed "gays and lesbians" section, pictured below. I mean, I understand that you believe that gays are going to hell, and you were sent by God to save their souls, but scolding and condemning and preaching hell-fire doesn't seem terribly loving to me.
the gay section!
UNC's an enclave of liberalism, homosexuality and tolerance located in the nortoriously conservative and right-wing "Bible Belt". I'm so thankful for the fact that I'm in a predominantly agnostic and atheist university, safe from the Southern Baptist influences that surround Chapel Hill. At least the music on offer is more than just... country music and country music. The (mainly agnostic) American friends that I've made speak intelligently on multiple topics, and seem very well rounded individuals.
They see the beauty in religion, all religion, and all philosophies. And, to be frank, to claim that one religion is supreme over all others - that seems extremely bigotted. And we Christians have to see that, all the stuff preached to us from pulpits and in Sunday School - it's propoganda, probably comparable to the propoganda preached to the Germans in NAZI Germany. Well-meaning, definitely. Aimed at the salvation of our souls, and those around us, definitely. But it's propoganda, and every word, every doctrine should be examined.
When you take off the glasses of faith the world is a very different place.
Then you have a weirdo like me who believes that evolution could have happened, that homosexual acts are probably ok, that the Bible could contain error in parts. But that God is somehow divine and in control of everything.
Somehow I'm starting to wonder if my faith still makes sense. Ah well... after all is said and done, I'll probably put my glasses of faith on again. Christianity is too comforting to let go, the balm for wounded hearts, the promise to eternal salvation, the most beautiful loe story ever. And I'm pretty sure that this Jesus guy lived and died and resurrected.
But I guess, I'm probably not one to force my beliefs on others, because I see the validity and beauty of their beliefs too.
Many Christians don't question their beliefs. I used to never question anything that was said in church. I thought that if I had doubt, I'd be in danger of hellfire. Thus, I was willing to sacrifice intellectual integrity for my eternal salvation, and this, of course, is totally rational. Conservative, Bible bashing Christians are just being well-meaning and rational in their own way.
So, basically, whether you're liberal or conservative, you're good, and I respect you!
I was discussing religion with Seth, on the 4 hour drive to Elizabeth City last weekend. We went to Mike's house for the weekend, and on Saturday we went to Kitty Hawk for the beach. The beach was fine, and somewhere in between we visited the supposed hill where the Wright Brothers supposedly flew their plane. So many "supposed"s. The group was very big, but all great people.
the beach!
the girls at the Hill of First Flight!
the guys at the Hill of First Flight!
The waves at the beach were great, you could get literally bowled and washed over by them! A very painful but exciting process.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
i love freddie mercury.
his music, his confused sexuality - until today people argue on whether he was bi or simply gay -, his presence on stage, even the way he died.
man, i think AIDS is probably one of the finest things to die from. True, it's long and painful, but so is cancer. And to die from a sexually-transmitted disease... it's so much more interesting than boring old cancer or heart disease.
Serious!
Dying of old age is probably so boring.
You gotta go sometime, right? So might as well make it a grand exit.
Just went for class, was so boring. I'm not skipping enough classes.
his music, his confused sexuality - until today people argue on whether he was bi or simply gay -, his presence on stage, even the way he died.
man, i think AIDS is probably one of the finest things to die from. True, it's long and painful, but so is cancer. And to die from a sexually-transmitted disease... it's so much more interesting than boring old cancer or heart disease.
Serious!
Dying of old age is probably so boring.
You gotta go sometime, right? So might as well make it a grand exit.
Just went for class, was so boring. I'm not skipping enough classes.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
for some weird reason...
... there seems to be so much more life in UNC, than in NUS (ok, sorry for comparing, but it's second nature to most humans)
like, so many more things happening, so much more history and tradition, so many more stories, so much school spirit. Actually there's no lack of these things in NUS too, just that in NUS you don't really feel part of the school, but in UNC you really feel like you're in it, like a true blue Tar Heel. Things like the Daily Tar Heel, the Bell Tower, the football and basketball games, the fact that the entire bloody town revolves around the school, all drum it in. And funny traditions like taking the Daily Tar Heel into the toilet cubicle to read while doing your business, and leaving it in the cubicle for the next fella. And the fact that people wear the Carolina shirt with pride!
I think the fact that everyone basically stays at, or around campus, really helps. And the fact that people do seem to do less stupid stuff (i.e. study) and play so damned hard.
Actually NUS is already not that bad. We got fun stuff happening most of the time. Just that everybody studies too hard, and many are not open enough to try new things, and to have fun. The things that destroy life are work and routine, and a lack of passion for life. I mean, stability is great, it makes us feel safe, but we gotta step out of the comfort zone sometimes man. Life is a siesta, live it.
I mean, if you like knowledge, well and good. But life is too bloody short to study just so you get a good grade and so would get a good job and a nice house yaddle yaddle. I don't know. I probably belong to a group of people known as the "hedonists". Live drink and be merry for tomorrow you die. Study if you like it, not cos you have to. I mean, as an economist, the goal of all things is utility/happiness maximisation, right?
I think a truly great university would be one where everyone would be less preoccupied with their own lives, and leave their comfort zones, and come out and play and engage in campus activities. And where people do things cos they like it, not for points. I hope UNC is such a place.
Go Tar Heels! haha I am becoming one of a mindless mob, but it's so fun!
like, so many more things happening, so much more history and tradition, so many more stories, so much school spirit. Actually there's no lack of these things in NUS too, just that in NUS you don't really feel part of the school, but in UNC you really feel like you're in it, like a true blue Tar Heel. Things like the Daily Tar Heel, the Bell Tower, the football and basketball games, the fact that the entire bloody town revolves around the school, all drum it in. And funny traditions like taking the Daily Tar Heel into the toilet cubicle to read while doing your business, and leaving it in the cubicle for the next fella. And the fact that people wear the Carolina shirt with pride!
I think the fact that everyone basically stays at, or around campus, really helps. And the fact that people do seem to do less stupid stuff (i.e. study) and play so damned hard.
Actually NUS is already not that bad. We got fun stuff happening most of the time. Just that everybody studies too hard, and many are not open enough to try new things, and to have fun. The things that destroy life are work and routine, and a lack of passion for life. I mean, stability is great, it makes us feel safe, but we gotta step out of the comfort zone sometimes man. Life is a siesta, live it.
I mean, if you like knowledge, well and good. But life is too bloody short to study just so you get a good grade and so would get a good job and a nice house yaddle yaddle. I don't know. I probably belong to a group of people known as the "hedonists". Live drink and be merry for tomorrow you die. Study if you like it, not cos you have to. I mean, as an economist, the goal of all things is utility/happiness maximisation, right?
I think a truly great university would be one where everyone would be less preoccupied with their own lives, and leave their comfort zones, and come out and play and engage in campus activities. And where people do things cos they like it, not for points. I hope UNC is such a place.
Go Tar Heels! haha I am becoming one of a mindless mob, but it's so fun!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Preaching in the Pit!
caught on film! A Southern-Baptist sort preacher, preaching at the Pit (where most students gather between classes) in UNC! Debating with students, and pissing many of them off. O man, he pisses me off, even though I've been raised in church.
He thinks that Catholics, and gays are going to hell. Ok, so some Protestants believe that (but not me). He also claims that by Jesus's blood he does not sin anymore (bad theology), and denies the power of original sin (bad theology again). The best part is, when a Christian came to point out his errors he hollered at her and made her cry and told her to stop shedding those "crocodile tears". These are the hell-fire extreme Christians who don't know what they are talking about, yet who insist that they are right, that I dislike.
I mean, I admire your courage and fervour, friend, but not much else.
And you wonder why so many people hate Christians.
I think one good thing about Bartley (my church) is that they don't expect us all to toe the line when it comes to personal beliefs. They allow some deviation, as long as we love God, and they try to draw us back to God when we are far. Essentially the discipline is lax. I don't feel discriminated against although I believe that gays are cool, and that evolution is more likely true than creationism.
Eisen left his church cos of the Church discipline, and because he was forced to believe all sort of Christian man-made theology.
A lot of what we are taught in Churches is actually man-made, the product of the Protestant Reformation. Luther's ideas are preached in the pulpits without attribution to the fact that these were the ideas of select men in Church history. For example, the idea that every man should draw spiritual water from the Bible only, thus bypassing the Magisterium (teaching authority) of the Church, was a man-made doctrine in itself. In essence, however, the Protestant Church has many Magisteria, telling us what to believe and not to believe, abeit in less visible forms than the Roman Catholic Church.
Ok sorry for rambling. Ask me if you want to know more. I'm taking a course on the Protestant Reformation now. I need to know the roots of my faith, much like a child needs to know who his parents are.
Why doesn't anyone in any church tell us about the Reformation? This is important stuff man, knowing how our church came to be.
But I think I'll probably always be a Christian. Just allow me to come to my own conclusions, and don't force me to swallow everything you teach.
And, to be frank, who really cares if I believe in evolution? Like it really affects my "Christian-ness", or my love for God.
I love and believe God if I choose to, not because I believe in the Genesis account of creation.
But then, if I don't believe in the Genesis account, does that mean that I believe the Bible has error?
Actually I believe that the Bible could have error, but that God is perfect.
Afterall, the books of the Bible were compiled by the early Church, by a gang of Church Fathers who (Protestants believe) could have been fallible.
Look, if you don't believe that the Pope is infalliable, then the early Church Fathers could have been falliable too, right? So they may have messed up some of the Bible right?
Why would God protect these Church Fathers from error when compiling His Bible, yet not protect the Popes from error?
... And I can go on and on....
Jon
one thing i learnt about myself from this blog business:
i'm way way lazy.
probably too lazy to write down my thoughts and experiences. o well.
anyway i've been in UNC for a while! a couple of weeks actually. i'm starting to really love this place. it's a university town, the town of chapel hill revolves around UNC.
And i've met some cool people! The Singapore gang, over 10 of us, most of them on the Joint Degree Programme (I WILL CONTINUE TO SPELL THE BRITISH WAY). The Christians from Raleigh Chinese Church and Alpha Omega Fellowship who are ever so kind to me, a newcomer. The gang of friends I've met - Joy Praveesuda from Thailand, the girl who is very nice but does not know what she wants. Clemens from Germany who is obviously infatuated with Joy (but she does not know what she wants!) - he better not be too serious. Ryoko from Japan, who has no house-mate so we always go to her place to cook and eat. Eutine from HK, who is the arch-typical RGS girl, strong minded and independent.
And the gang of American friends! Roy who is so nice to always cook for us and drive us to Wall Mart, and who lives in the Episcopal (Anglican) Church at Franklin. Mike the Middle Eastern expert. Sagar the mad Indian guy. Dan with the place that we mess every weekend, drinking ourselves crazy (and sheesha!) and playing crazy beer games. And Dylan and Carl and everyone else, and Justin the homosexual who wants to teach music in Singapore (I tell him that its unlikely our conservative closed-minded government will ever allow him in, but he says that it's the same in the USA).
I'm straight, very straight, but I love gays, and God probably loves gays too.
but these guys, o man, they're way cool. I like the fact that they're so free, so liberal, so chummy, so intelligent, so intellectually honest, so open-minded, so willing to spend time with each other. I like the way so many of them think with their brains, not their balls, and are thus so un-desperate, like "we don't need girls man, let's party". I like the way they are not too busy to spend time together and have fun. I like the way they respect me although I am Asian (don't expect to find these attitudes elsewhere in the South, they tell me) I love the way they are intelligent enough to have an opinion on everything, yet be open (and intelligent) enough to accept differing opinions - if someone thinks that he has a monopoly on truth, and reality, he's probably a bit bigotted.
Last saturday Sagar announced that I (Jon) may as well be American. He's probably right. But then, maybe not. I gather that most Americans (especially the Southern-Baptist sorts) are not so open, not so liberal, not so intelligent. Stupid, close-minded, conservative people. And add to that racist, and rude, and homophobic. Eeks. I'm just glad I'm mixing with intelligent university people.
Sagar wants to participate in a peaceful march in DC sometime soon, it's about about anti-globalisation, and anti-MNC-ism. I hope I can make it. I do believe in it, that big businesses are screwing up the world, making the poor even poorer and short-changing everyone else but themselves with unfair trade practices. We should return to small businesses, and family enterprises.
I wish I'd have friends like these back home, not too busy to have fun, to just live together and hang and chill and drink and just say "screw you, world, we're gonna live our lives the way we want to. screw the expectations society places on us. we're going to have fun, and live life, and not going to work our asses off". I'd wanna live by myself after I start working, probably with friends, away from parents. As Roy told me, in America if a kid lives with his parents after college, it's an insult to his independence and his parents' upbringing skills. I wish my parents would see things my way. It won't be easy for me, financially, and it'll be like throwing me into the deep end of the pool. But it's a great way to train independence.
I look forward to the day when I can afford my own home, and when my parents would let me move out, and when I'd find like-minded people that I can live with. :)
i'm way way lazy.
probably too lazy to write down my thoughts and experiences. o well.
anyway i've been in UNC for a while! a couple of weeks actually. i'm starting to really love this place. it's a university town, the town of chapel hill revolves around UNC.
And i've met some cool people! The Singapore gang, over 10 of us, most of them on the Joint Degree Programme (I WILL CONTINUE TO SPELL THE BRITISH WAY). The Christians from Raleigh Chinese Church and Alpha Omega Fellowship who are ever so kind to me, a newcomer. The gang of friends I've met - Joy Praveesuda from Thailand, the girl who is very nice but does not know what she wants. Clemens from Germany who is obviously infatuated with Joy (but she does not know what she wants!) - he better not be too serious. Ryoko from Japan, who has no house-mate so we always go to her place to cook and eat. Eutine from HK, who is the arch-typical RGS girl, strong minded and independent.
And the gang of American friends! Roy who is so nice to always cook for us and drive us to Wall Mart, and who lives in the Episcopal (Anglican) Church at Franklin. Mike the Middle Eastern expert. Sagar the mad Indian guy. Dan with the place that we mess every weekend, drinking ourselves crazy (and sheesha!) and playing crazy beer games. And Dylan and Carl and everyone else, and Justin the homosexual who wants to teach music in Singapore (I tell him that its unlikely our conservative closed-minded government will ever allow him in, but he says that it's the same in the USA).
I'm straight, very straight, but I love gays, and God probably loves gays too.
but these guys, o man, they're way cool. I like the fact that they're so free, so liberal, so chummy, so intelligent, so intellectually honest, so open-minded, so willing to spend time with each other. I like the way so many of them think with their brains, not their balls, and are thus so un-desperate, like "we don't need girls man, let's party". I like the way they are not too busy to spend time together and have fun. I like the way they respect me although I am Asian (don't expect to find these attitudes elsewhere in the South, they tell me) I love the way they are intelligent enough to have an opinion on everything, yet be open (and intelligent) enough to accept differing opinions - if someone thinks that he has a monopoly on truth, and reality, he's probably a bit bigotted.
Last saturday Sagar announced that I (Jon) may as well be American. He's probably right. But then, maybe not. I gather that most Americans (especially the Southern-Baptist sorts) are not so open, not so liberal, not so intelligent. Stupid, close-minded, conservative people. And add to that racist, and rude, and homophobic. Eeks. I'm just glad I'm mixing with intelligent university people.
Sagar wants to participate in a peaceful march in DC sometime soon, it's about about anti-globalisation, and anti-MNC-ism. I hope I can make it. I do believe in it, that big businesses are screwing up the world, making the poor even poorer and short-changing everyone else but themselves with unfair trade practices. We should return to small businesses, and family enterprises.
I wish I'd have friends like these back home, not too busy to have fun, to just live together and hang and chill and drink and just say "screw you, world, we're gonna live our lives the way we want to. screw the expectations society places on us. we're going to have fun, and live life, and not going to work our asses off". I'd wanna live by myself after I start working, probably with friends, away from parents. As Roy told me, in America if a kid lives with his parents after college, it's an insult to his independence and his parents' upbringing skills. I wish my parents would see things my way. It won't be easy for me, financially, and it'll be like throwing me into the deep end of the pool. But it's a great way to train independence.
I look forward to the day when I can afford my own home, and when my parents would let me move out, and when I'd find like-minded people that I can live with. :)
Monday, August 13, 2007
Later that Saturday noon we took a Greyhound bus to Washington D.C. – it’s a trip that takes almost 5 hours – in the emptiness, I realised the emptiness and loneliness in my heart. An emptiness that I always try to fill up with friends, fun, relationships, busy-ness, everything of the world. At the end of these endeavours, there’s this emptiness and unease and the feeling that I’m utterly far from God, living my own life and so so far from the Divine. And maybe it takes stuff like a long bus ride, for me to realise my emptiness, my evil, my loneliness.
I was wondering who I could call, who I could talk to, who I could sms. Someone who’d understand me and accept me and love me and who I could spend long hours with, and who’d not come with romantic issues (that cannot be resolved) that’d screw us up. And I could not come up with a person, I had to come to God. So I prayed and asked God to fill my hole and thanked Him for exposing the emptiness and dissatisfaction and lack of faith that characterised my life. It’s like a wound, that many many people have, but try to cover up with plasters. It sometimes takes something that God brings along to rip off the plaster and expose the gaping wound. And then we are left with no choice but to beg God for medicine.
I’m falling to my knees, I need you Lord to breathe in me. My prayer is still the same, my heart is calling out Your name.
Sweet anointing fill this place. I am found in your embrace.
Rain Down on me, Rain Down on me, here in your presence I am free. Pour down like rain, come and touch me again, Lord let your presence fall on me.
I was wondering who I could call, who I could talk to, who I could sms. Someone who’d understand me and accept me and love me and who I could spend long hours with, and who’d not come with romantic issues (that cannot be resolved) that’d screw us up. And I could not come up with a person, I had to come to God. So I prayed and asked God to fill my hole and thanked Him for exposing the emptiness and dissatisfaction and lack of faith that characterised my life. It’s like a wound, that many many people have, but try to cover up with plasters. It sometimes takes something that God brings along to rip off the plaster and expose the gaping wound. And then we are left with no choice but to beg God for medicine.
I’m falling to my knees, I need you Lord to breathe in me. My prayer is still the same, my heart is calling out Your name.
Sweet anointing fill this place. I am found in your embrace.
Rain Down on me, Rain Down on me, here in your presence I am free. Pour down like rain, come and touch me again, Lord let your presence fall on me.
Day 6! Saturday.
The next day was Saturday August 11. We went to the statue of liberty in the morning, At the ferry terminal to liberty island there was this busker guy who asked us where we were from, and played the Majulah Singapura after we told him we were from Singapore! Utterly impressive. Like, how many anthems does he know man?.
There was this guy who set up a store giving out Christian Tracts, at Times Square Subway station. He also lined the walls with Bible verses. God must be pleased with this man’s devotion, his is really a precious ministry. Only problem is that he was giving out Chick Ministry tracts, blasting Jews and Catholics and saying that they must all do things the evangelical way. Jews, I agree, cos they rejected Jesus, salvation probably is a bit eeky for them (though I would not say that they definitely had no salvation) but again I feel that Catholics are Christians with salvation, and we’d see them in heaven.
My religious views are pretty liberal, but I have to hold on to them to be true to myself, and to be able to say that I am intellectually true to myself, that I have intellectual integrity.
There was this guy who set up a store giving out Christian Tracts, at Times Square Subway station. He also lined the walls with Bible verses. God must be pleased with this man’s devotion, his is really a precious ministry. Only problem is that he was giving out Chick Ministry tracts, blasting Jews and Catholics and saying that they must all do things the evangelical way. Jews, I agree, cos they rejected Jesus, salvation probably is a bit eeky for them (though I would not say that they definitely had no salvation) but again I feel that Catholics are Christians with salvation, and we’d see them in heaven.
My religious views are pretty liberal, but I have to hold on to them to be true to myself, and to be able to say that I am intellectually true to myself, that I have intellectual integrity.
Store giving out tracts - Times Square Subway Station
run in with the NYPD - Day 5, 10 August, Friday
Day 5 10 Aug Friday 4.37pm
Just came back to the hostel. Went back to Time Square to buy tickets for Mama Mia!, and viola the lady was there again, outside Starbucks. Was raining so she was in the shelter. I talked to her, and she told me about how Starbucks had thrown away her stuff and she wanted them to stop bothering her, and how she wanted them to apologise and return her cash for her stuff. And we talked. She gave me salad, an extra one to take back for Eisen, and I bought her coffee to help her thaw from the cold. She told me about her life, the fact that she in fact had a PHD in clinical psychology, and had 5 Master’s Degrees, and that she was from a very rich family. She was Jewish too, and her dad was a holocaust survivor. She used to be “Reformed” Jewish i.e. only going to the synagogue on holy days like the Passover, and going out partying on other days. Now in her old age she became more “Orthodox”, being more religious and stuff. Interestingly despite her religion she believes that anyone from any religion can go to heaven, as long as he does good. It doesn’t really matter that he does not believe in God/Yahweh/Jehovah/Asham (she calls God by this name, don’t really know what it means.), as long as you’re a good person. And her husband, another Jewish man, had already passed away.
And all was fine. She kept on telling me to call 1900-STARBUCKS to get the Starbucks people to give in to her demands. She’s a very principled person, this lady. Very principled, and she believed she was in the right. Then her feet were wet and cold so she went off to buy boots for her feet, and I helped her look after her stuff. She said she’d be back by 3pm.
And it was cold, about 59 F (don't know how much it was, but I didn't carry my windbreaker out with me in the noon, and it was so so bad). So I was this university undergrad, outside Starbucks, with many cardboard boxes all around me. I would have looked like a homeless person, other than the fact that I looked too clean, and that very few Chinese were homeless. But I definitely felt like a homeless person, with the chilly wind blowing right into my face and idiotic me having forgotten to bring my windbreaker along.
Anyway, by 3.30 pm the lady was not back, and the Starbucks manager had informed me at 3.20 that she’d called the cops to settle the issue. I was alone, with the lady’s stuff, I didn’t know where the hell she was, and the NYPD was coming. Bloody balls shrink.
In desperation I prayed. And I guess God does answer. I prayed for her to return and soon she was back, before the NYPD got there. She couldn’t find boots, and was also looking for batteries for my camera to surprise me. Couldn’t find batteries also. (I brought a cam but forgot to insert batteries inside, so no photos of anything at all). She’s a sweet old lady. That was why I hadn't run away when the store manager told me that she'd called the cops. I'd trusted this lady, and I guess my trust paid off.
And I hung around, and the NYPD came. And they interrogated her and she started getting irate and told them her story. And they interrogated me and I told them what I knew, and they asked to see my ID, so I showed them my funky Singapore passport with my funky F1 visa. They said I’m cool, and not a trouble-maker, and told me not to bother with this lady.
I talked to her a bit, in front of the officers, and one officer asked me to leave. Her voice was edgy, like “Sir, I’m going to ask you to be on your way. Have a nice day”. You know, as SINGAPOREANS, you have it ingrained inside you to bloody listen to the police. So I did. The whole time the lady was screaming, telling me that I didn’t need to show my ID and bother with the police, but I guess I did the right thing. The very Singaporean thing, but the right thing to cooperate with the police. The un-Singaporean thing, of course, was to even hang around long enough for the police to chase me away. Freak I see mata already balls shrink lar, even though I hadn’t do anything wrong and outside act damn cool. I’m glad I didn’t run at the first sign of trouble. We both didn’t do anything wrong anyway, what’s there to be scared of.
So I went on my way. Police ask me to get lost, I dare to stay there meh? Shit now I regret not getting her number before I’d left. She’d have made a good friend. Hope she’s alright. I’ll drop by later to see if she’s still there. In fact, I guess I should go there now. And I'll remember my windbreaker this time.
- 4.50pm.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyway, by 3.30 pm the lady was not back, and the Starbucks manager had informed me at 3.20 that she’d called the cops to settle the issue. I was alone, with the lady’s stuff, I didn’t know where the hell she was, and the NYPD was coming. Bloody balls shrink.
In desperation I prayed. And I guess God does answer. I prayed for her to return and soon she was back, before the NYPD got there. She couldn’t find boots, and was also looking for batteries for my camera to surprise me. Couldn’t find batteries also. (I brought a cam but forgot to insert batteries inside, so no photos of anything at all). She’s a sweet old lady. That was why I hadn't run away when the store manager told me that she'd called the cops. I'd trusted this lady, and I guess my trust paid off.
And I hung around, and the NYPD came. And they interrogated her and she started getting irate and told them her story. And they interrogated me and I told them what I knew, and they asked to see my ID, so I showed them my funky Singapore passport with my funky F1 visa. They said I’m cool, and not a trouble-maker, and told me not to bother with this lady.
I talked to her a bit, in front of the officers, and one officer asked me to leave. Her voice was edgy, like “Sir, I’m going to ask you to be on your way. Have a nice day”. You know, as SINGAPOREANS, you have it ingrained inside you to bloody listen to the police. So I did. The whole time the lady was screaming, telling me that I didn’t need to show my ID and bother with the police, but I guess I did the right thing. The very Singaporean thing, but the right thing to cooperate with the police. The un-Singaporean thing, of course, was to even hang around long enough for the police to chase me away. Freak I see mata already balls shrink lar, even though I hadn’t do anything wrong and outside act damn cool. I’m glad I didn’t run at the first sign of trouble. We both didn’t do anything wrong anyway, what’s there to be scared of.
So I went on my way. Police ask me to get lost, I dare to stay there meh? Shit now I regret not getting her number before I’d left. She’d have made a good friend. Hope she’s alright. I’ll drop by later to see if she’s still there. In fact, I guess I should go there now. And I'll remember my windbreaker this time.
- 4.50pm.
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I met Rose Mary at the entrance to Starbucks when I went back there. I’d called 1800-STARBUCKS before I’d left, and the lady told me that Rose Mary’s case was already on record, and under company investigation. When I told her that later, she was really quite happy, that at least the company knew about it. I hope that they actually do something, cos Rose Mary is really very irate about her stuff being thrown away and the fact that she cannot do fund raising outside that branch of Starbucks (if you’re really curious, it’s the branch at the intersection of 41 West and Broadway, New York City).
Anyway the lady’s real name is still unknown. She refuses to tell me. So I’ll just call her Rose Mary. She said that the police handcuffed her, and were going to take her away for refusing to budge from her spot outside Starbucks and for generally making a big din. But later a Police Sergeant, a higher ranking guy, came over and told them to stop it cos she was doing nothing wrong, and to let her go. So she continued to camp outside the shop, picketing. It was really quite cold, and she was suffering all that just for her principles, that she should get justice done.
I asked her, “Don’t you think you can do something more for the poor people, given your intellect and education?” She could earn lots of money, and give it all away! But she said that she could bless and interact with individuals in this way, and I’d to agree. She told me that she’d come across people crying, and she could help them because of her training in clinical psychology. She could talk to them, and make them feel better.
People crying, walking down Broadway? Somehow it’s not hard to believe. Urban life – so many people, so few true friends, so few true relationships. Everyone just wants people to love and who could love him in return, and find a meaning in life. But, people in cities, paradoxically, are the most lonely, despite being surrounded with people. People in NY are marginally friendlier than people in Singapore, and it’s quite normal to greet people on the street and in the mall with a smile and a “how do you do?, but I guess, people don’t really open up to one another. Everyone wants to know someone, and be known, to love and be loved (not only romantic love, of course), but these things are so elusive.
And Rose Mary, she adds a human touch to the city. By offering to talk, and to listen, more than the cursory “how do you do?”. I spent almost 5 hours with her over those two days, talking to her and watching people go by, like she does. We shared our stories, she sharing the fact that she looked like a homeless bum but she actually had a PHD, and her purpose in life. I shared a bit of my life, my broken relationship, and she blessed me with a listening ear, and advice. It was good.
She learnt to be giving, and a bit altruistic, from her now-deceased father. Having survived the holocaust, he felt terribly guilty about being alive while most of his friends perished. And so he did the next best thing – having realised that his very life was a gift, he gave to the people around him, sacrificially. And I guess Rose Mary caught some of that.
We exchanged numbers. I hope to have time to contact her, once I reach UNC. She’s a lovely lady, and she gave me food (which she’d distribute to the homeless). Though it was almost-expired salad and sandwich, wet and grimy from being exposed to the elements, I ate it. Maybe we should appreciate what we have, more.
Hanging with Rose Mary also allowed me to meet some of her friends, who hang on the streets also. A young eleven year old boy from Senegal, selling 10 dollar umbrellas in the rain. He had eleven siblings. I almost cardiac-arrested when I heard that, until I realised that his mother was not a sow, but it was because his dad had four wives. I almost heart-attacked when I heard that one. And this little boy, he already had three girlfriends at the age of eleven. These Senegalese really practice free love, man.
And I also talked to a janitor who’d sweep the street corners. This Black guy from Brooklyn attends Times Square Church (I’d gone there the night before, and had held a two hour conversation with Pastor David on its ste-ps.) He was divorced, and was looking for love. I encouraged him, that it would be possible. But this guy, he was good man. He knew the area so well, all the shops and street corners and where to buy everything.
People, each with their stories. I’m just thankful to God that I had the privilege of knowing each of them. Having been raised in different cultures, many practices were different. Accents were different – it was somehow hard to communicate. But there were so many similarities. Cliché as it sounds, the human experience often runs common across cultures – hopes, fears, dreams, aspirations, emotions. The innocence of youth (young Senegal boy). The wisdom of age (Rose Mary). The search for love (Mr. Janitor). All these could be seen in Singapore, and in New York. In fact, New York ain’t all that different from Singapore, because people everywhere have a shared humanity.
Later that Friday night I caught Mama Mia at Broadway! It was great, so grand, and the music was lovely (partially cos I grew up on ABBA). At the end of the musical the cast performed three songs again – Mama Mia, Dancing Queen and Waterloo – and I could not resist it. Like some people scattered throughout the theatre, I got on my feet to dance. Good thing I sat right at the back, so I didn’t block anyone. Thank God for that, actually.
Mama Mia, here I go again, Mama, how could I resist you?
The cast of Mama Mia! The middle girl with the blonde hair, she's great. Probably somehow related to ABBA or something :)
Back at Bowery’s Whitehouse Hotel after Broadway, I ran into a couple of Korean-American girls who were chatting with Eisen. They told me about American life, and life in California, where they came from. We exchanged numbers so we could contact them when we do travel to the West Coast.
---------------------------------------------
I think i do like backpacking, it's fun in a dangerous way. I have the freedom to do anything I want, and go anywhere I want to go, and talk to anyone I want, without having to care about tour groups and rubbish like that. I can create my own experience, and I love this freedom.
It's dangerous, it's adventurous, but I guess as a young man these things appeal strongly to me.
My room in Bowery! It's basically a cupboard with a bed in it. Five nights here for a six-footer like me!
Night view from outside my Bowery "hotel" (if you can even call it one). I felt very safe all through my N.Y stay, even at night. I heard that it was Giuliani had cleaned up the area a lot. Before him, this area would have been full of strip clubs. Also, I stayed downtown at Manhatten throughout and didn't go uptown to the Bronx at night. That's the negro place, bound to be much more dangerous. I was confident (and some say, naive) enough to stay out past midnight a couple of days.
Glitsy lights at Times Square. I love Times Square it's so big, so grand, so bright, I could spend a couple of full days there just looking.
Street performers at Times Square! Buskers in NY enter subway trains and entertain everyone! Active street life.
Friggin' hot Asian babe at Times Square
The NASDAQ building. We went after the stock markets had closed, if not you'd be seeing stock figures behind us.
M&M's store in Times Square!
Virgin Megastore at Union Square! Check out the loo!
The American flag hangs proudly at Grand Central. Actually it hangs proudly from half of the buildings over here. One wonders why we don't even allow Singapore buildings to fly the flag (except around National Day), to show our love for the country.
Virgin Megastore at Union Square! Check out the loo!Days Three and Four!
10 Aug (Friday) 8am.
I think I think a lot. Mostly useless stuff, but my mind is either churning or just stoning, in silent and standby mode. The problem is that most of the stuff that I churn out happens to be completely useless and random (i.e. unconnected to my other thoughts, and sometimes even disconnected from reality) I guess, from the accumulation of all these random thoughts, desires and opinions about life, one develops a self, a personality. It’s like a montage of sorts, that all these seemingly unconnected and random thoughts combine to form ‘the consciousness of jon kwok’. Similarly, I guess, the entire being of a person is cumulated from all aspects of his life: his thought processes, his relationships, his spirituality, his past experiences, his sexuality, his physical make-up, his emotional make-up, etc. All these combine, in a rojak way, to create the person of me, and the person of you. Maybe that’s why they say that everyone’s unique in his own way, because there is gotta be some part of this rojak that distinguishes you from your neighbour. Say, a deviant sexuality. Or, a unique religious viewpoint. Or, a painful family background. Or, a weird sense of humour. You get what I mean.
Anyway, this musing was so random and out of point. See my point? The problem is that most of the stuff that I churn out happens to be completely useless and random.
Anyway, there is sometimes this stupid narcissistic desire to record everything I observe and think, for my own (and the world’s) reference. Like it even matters! But it’s such a desire that sits me in front of my laptop daily, re-looking my pictures and typing out the previous day’s events, rather than going out and doing more exploring. I want to remember, that’s why I record. And I want to be heard, that’s why I blog.
Everyone wants to be heard, that’s why we all need a friend.
Ok my mind is doing freaking cartwheels. I could go on and on, about the way everyone needs a friend. Today is a good day, where I can just go on and on and talk. Normally I cannot, I need someone to engage me. But today I’m in rambling mode. I’m like, talking to myself only.
Anyway shoosh. I need to get to the point, i.e. more about my life in the USA.
I got to sleep in my room last night, fortunately. Eisen went back first while I went about exploring Time Square and Broadway and he fell asleep, and I was outside, and no amount of knocking and calling his mobile phone could wake that sleeping log. I was irate, to say the least, and was almost resigned to sleeping in the lobby when I heard a low drowsy voice calling my name. Ah, salvation had come.
Come to think of it, sleeping in the lobby would have been an experience. And it would have been what I’ve been looking for on this trip, experiences. But having said that I was pretty glad to have my bed last night.
I think I like traveling. I think I’m adventurous, curious, and I like to see new things and explore new cultures. (actually half of the world has these characteristics, but never mind). The problem is that I’m frigging lazy, too lazy to check out places to explore beforehand, which is actually quite important for backpackers. But never mind, I think I’ll like to try more of this backpacking stuff.
Anyway I almost got locked out last night cos I was out exploring Time Square and Broadway, alone. (I said that already before, right. But never mind la, just say again. What the heck.) Got back to hostel around 0030 hours. Dead beat but I loved it. The freedom, the liberation, to wander and explore and talk to people and see things and buy things and take photos and observe the sights sounds and smells. But I guess I should either do it alone, or find someone who really is a lot like me in terms of interests and pace of movement and stuff, or else I’ll feel stifled and restricted and so will my travel partner – cos we’ll have to pander to each other’s wants and needs… i.e. the travel partner must be just the correct person, a lot like me, or I’ll rather go alone, which isn’t that bad, when you think about it. Why does it sound like marriage?
But I loved NY at night, alone. The sights and sounds, the feeling that I could go anywhere and do anything and explore any part I wanted. Small things like finding the elusive Bank of America ATMs, being dazzled by the bright lights (of Time Square-Broadway) like a small child all over again, helping an elderly lady flag down a cab, checking out hot Chinese babes that’d just walked out of the Mama Mia theatre, to trying to figure my own way back to the hostel via the trusty (ok, not-so-trusty) subway. All these things that make my New York trip uniquely mine, an experience only I had, not some commercialised uniform experience that some smart-ass travel agent somewhere designed for the masses. As far as possible I’ve tried to own my travel experiences, to make it Jon’s NY trip.
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Day 4 -- 9 Aug Thursday
Anyway Day 4 started innocuously enough. Late lunch at the Radio City Music Centre near Rockafella, of Macdonald’s. As Eisen cleverly put it, in New York fast food joints there’re normally four big metal containers dispensing a variety of sauces: ketchup, ketchup, ketchup and ketchup. Whatever happened to chili sauce? Damn.
After that we passed by the Museum of Sex. Aha! Interesting, considering we Singaporeans are considered some of the more sexually deprived people by Durex. So, given my character, do you think I entered the museum? Would it have made any difference if I had entered? Would entering it mean that I’m somehow sexually immoral, any more than not entering it mean that I’m a celibate monk from the Eastern Orthodox Church? (ok, like you care whether I entered. So, maybe I entered and saw all there was to see about sex. Maybe I went to the next street and had a bagel, from the Arab-looking street vendor over there.)
I think I think a lot. Mostly useless stuff, but my mind is either churning or just stoning, in silent and standby mode. The problem is that most of the stuff that I churn out happens to be completely useless and random (i.e. unconnected to my other thoughts, and sometimes even disconnected from reality) I guess, from the accumulation of all these random thoughts, desires and opinions about life, one develops a self, a personality. It’s like a montage of sorts, that all these seemingly unconnected and random thoughts combine to form ‘the consciousness of jon kwok’. Similarly, I guess, the entire being of a person is cumulated from all aspects of his life: his thought processes, his relationships, his spirituality, his past experiences, his sexuality, his physical make-up, his emotional make-up, etc. All these combine, in a rojak way, to create the person of me, and the person of you. Maybe that’s why they say that everyone’s unique in his own way, because there is gotta be some part of this rojak that distinguishes you from your neighbour. Say, a deviant sexuality. Or, a unique religious viewpoint. Or, a painful family background. Or, a weird sense of humour. You get what I mean.
Anyway, this musing was so random and out of point. See my point? The problem is that most of the stuff that I churn out happens to be completely useless and random.
Anyway, there is sometimes this stupid narcissistic desire to record everything I observe and think, for my own (and the world’s) reference. Like it even matters! But it’s such a desire that sits me in front of my laptop daily, re-looking my pictures and typing out the previous day’s events, rather than going out and doing more exploring. I want to remember, that’s why I record. And I want to be heard, that’s why I blog.
Everyone wants to be heard, that’s why we all need a friend.
Ok my mind is doing freaking cartwheels. I could go on and on, about the way everyone needs a friend. Today is a good day, where I can just go on and on and talk. Normally I cannot, I need someone to engage me. But today I’m in rambling mode. I’m like, talking to myself only.
Anyway shoosh. I need to get to the point, i.e. more about my life in the USA.
I got to sleep in my room last night, fortunately. Eisen went back first while I went about exploring Time Square and Broadway and he fell asleep, and I was outside, and no amount of knocking and calling his mobile phone could wake that sleeping log. I was irate, to say the least, and was almost resigned to sleeping in the lobby when I heard a low drowsy voice calling my name. Ah, salvation had come.
Come to think of it, sleeping in the lobby would have been an experience. And it would have been what I’ve been looking for on this trip, experiences. But having said that I was pretty glad to have my bed last night.
I think I like traveling. I think I’m adventurous, curious, and I like to see new things and explore new cultures. (actually half of the world has these characteristics, but never mind). The problem is that I’m frigging lazy, too lazy to check out places to explore beforehand, which is actually quite important for backpackers. But never mind, I think I’ll like to try more of this backpacking stuff.
Anyway I almost got locked out last night cos I was out exploring Time Square and Broadway, alone. (I said that already before, right. But never mind la, just say again. What the heck.) Got back to hostel around 0030 hours. Dead beat but I loved it. The freedom, the liberation, to wander and explore and talk to people and see things and buy things and take photos and observe the sights sounds and smells. But I guess I should either do it alone, or find someone who really is a lot like me in terms of interests and pace of movement and stuff, or else I’ll feel stifled and restricted and so will my travel partner – cos we’ll have to pander to each other’s wants and needs… i.e. the travel partner must be just the correct person, a lot like me, or I’ll rather go alone, which isn’t that bad, when you think about it. Why does it sound like marriage?
But I loved NY at night, alone. The sights and sounds, the feeling that I could go anywhere and do anything and explore any part I wanted. Small things like finding the elusive Bank of America ATMs, being dazzled by the bright lights (of Time Square-Broadway) like a small child all over again, helping an elderly lady flag down a cab, checking out hot Chinese babes that’d just walked out of the Mama Mia theatre, to trying to figure my own way back to the hostel via the trusty (ok, not-so-trusty) subway. All these things that make my New York trip uniquely mine, an experience only I had, not some commercialised uniform experience that some smart-ass travel agent somewhere designed for the masses. As far as possible I’ve tried to own my travel experiences, to make it Jon’s NY trip.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Day 4 -- 9 Aug Thursday
Anyway Day 4 started innocuously enough. Late lunch at the Radio City Music Centre near Rockafella, of Macdonald’s. As Eisen cleverly put it, in New York fast food joints there’re normally four big metal containers dispensing a variety of sauces: ketchup, ketchup, ketchup and ketchup. Whatever happened to chili sauce? Damn.
After that we passed by the Museum of Sex. Aha! Interesting, considering we Singaporeans are considered some of the more sexually deprived people by Durex. So, given my character, do you think I entered the museum? Would it have made any difference if I had entered? Would entering it mean that I’m somehow sexually immoral, any more than not entering it mean that I’m a celibate monk from the Eastern Orthodox Church? (ok, like you care whether I entered. So, maybe I entered and saw all there was to see about sex. Maybe I went to the next street and had a bagel, from the Arab-looking street vendor over there.)
Ah, Arab-looking. One thing about New York is that there seems to be someone from everywhere here, and not just visitors, but residents from all over the globe. Other than the basic Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Orientals (I MISS CHINESE BABES!!!), there’s like, a smattering of people from everywhere. The Jewish men are ubiquitous, in their unmistakable Jewish gowns. I ran into this shopkeeper who hails from Nepal. Bloody from all over the world. And a little boy from Senegal. It’s a more “global” city than Singapore, though Singapore is fast catching up with many bloody immigrants, unfortunately. It’s not that I’m racist, or what, but Singapore is like crowded all over, we need to ship people out of that tiny rock. Actually NY is crowded too, but somehow the subway seems less crowded than the always-full MRT.
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People. Ah, I ran into two interesting individuals on Thursday. First was this old Caucasian lady, standing outside Starbucks, holding a sign saying “Boycott Starbucks. They do illegal and immoral things.” Eisen asked if she could be photographed, but she refused. Refused to give a name, refused to let us photograph her. Said you don’t know what people could do with a name or a photograph.
She did agree, however, to talk to us. She’d been a New Yorker for over 40 years, and was supposedly doing some fund-raising for charity on the sidewalk outside Starbucks when the manager basically took her stuff and junked it, claiming that the sidewalk was Starbucks’. Now the lady conceeded that Starbucks pays rent for half the sidewalk, but she was raising funds on the other side, closer to the road, that was public property. And then she went on and on about how the Black female manager of the Starhub joint was uneducated about NY laws, and how she’ll raise a lawsuit against Starbucks, and how NY was becoming unbearable to live in because the “Blacks were taking over the whole place, even the Chief of Police is black”, and how they were cocky and stupid and brainless. And the Hispanics were useless too, and they and the Blacks were just thinking about sex all the time, wolf-whistling at any person in a skirt, even at an old grandma like her. Ah, but the whites were ok, NY was a better place when the whites were running it. (Of course she’d say that, she was a White!!) And the Orientals like me and Eisen were ok too cos we were hardworking and intelligent. Wow I was so flattered to get her approval of my ethnic background.
Talk about racial stereotypes man. But everyone is entitled to his own opinion.
Hey, I’m hardworking and intelligent cos I’m Oriental. Beat that.
So this lady wanted to move to Carolina, where the Blacks were less cocky. Still as stupid, she said, but less cocky and thus more tolerable. She wanted to move away from NY, where she’d lived in a rented apartment for the longest time. Apparently if you’ve lived in a rented apartment for a long time the government would give you rent protection, and you paid cheap rent man. No wonder she didn’t want to buy property and invest in it: her rent was dirt cheap. (I’m talking so much about rent cos of Rent, the DVD I watched before coming over here about renting apartments in NY) But again I digress.
Towards the end of the conversation Eisen asked if it was illegal to demonstrate like she was demonstrating, waving a placard in front of a business. Her response? “Of course, we have rights in this country”.
Me and Eisen, born and bred Singaporeans, just rolled our eyes.
Protest Outside Starbucks!
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The second guy, I talked to for almost 2 hours outside Times Square Church. His name was David Wolfe, and he was a pastor at a nearby church. Times Square Church is gargantuan, mega, probably City-Harvest-Sized, and “interdenominational”. I love churches that are “interdenominational” and “ecumenical”: why look at differences when there are so many similarities? But I digress.
Me and David, we just talked about Christianity. At first we talked about the Charismatic movement (he believes in signs and wonders, but believes that more importantly we need to focus on Bible teaching and moral living, and having love in our lives. He said that many people nowadays live terrible lives, but just seek to demonstrate, or chase after, the “powers of the Holy Spirit”. Thus as a preacher he doesn’t like to talk about spiritual gifts, but rather preach more on Biblical exposition. Talk about being reactionary.) Then I told him about my two major problems and doubts about the Christian faith: the vast dis-unity of Christianity in today’s world (despite Jesus praying for Church unity in the High Priestly Prayer), and the blatant denial of evolution (evolution, to me, is supported by the vast body of scientific data) by the Bible.
David opines that all the differing denominations have much in common, so there exists a spiritual unity. Regarding cults, he just opined that anyone who does not believe in the Bible, and draw the majority of his religious beliefs from the Bible, is following a Christian cult. He called the Roman Catholics the “biggest cult in the world”.
Of course, I disagree. We should know that even the doctrine of Sola Scriptura, dependency on only scripture for matters of faith, was a man-made doctrine, created by the Reformers. And Catholics. For the longest time in history they were the only Christians on earth. Don’t tell me that our God, who’s alive and who works through history, would allow a cultic church, and only a cultic church, to represent Him on earth. So, since they were a cult, all Christians/Catholics died and went to burn in eternal hell during those years? Would God allow that?
Later David told me about the doctrines of Transubstantiation (the bread and wine turning into the literal blood of Christ during the Holy Eucharist), and about how the original Greek version of the scripture Matthew 16:18 (“and I tell you that you are Peter, and on this Rock I shall build by Church, and the gates of Hades shall not overcome it”) actually refers to Jesus as the rock, thus disproving claims to the Papacy and Papal infallibility. He convinced me somewhat, thus making me doubt some aspects of Catholic belief. But to call them a cult? I’m sure some aspects of Evangelical belief need to be tweaked as well.
And on evolution he was, of course (like most Christian pastors), of the opinion that everything was spontaneously created. He doesn’t know much science, and credit to him, he admitted it, and told me to research more on my own.
Now, this David guy can talk on-and-on. He engaged me (i.e. he talked to me) for around two hours. This man has the gift of preaching.
David agreed to take a picture with me :)
Pastor David!
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The previous day, day three (Wednesday 8 Aug) was marked by a subway failure in the morning. The early morning had seen heavy, torrential rain, and the subway tracks became flooded. Freak. So eisen and me took the M1 bus to the Empire State, and freak it (both the bus and the Empire State) was so so crowded.
The Empire State!
View from the top!
Went to NY Public Library there. There’s a copy of the Gutenberg Bible there! And then we went to the Grand Central, with so many people thronging the grounds daily. Met this student from Hong Kong Uni (Franis Soh Zhan Fai), who was in the USA on a work-and-travel programme. Haha he was getting underpaid - $7 an hour, which seems to be the minimum wage in that state – somewhere near the East Coast.
I love opportunities to speak Cantonese. :)
I love opportunities to speak Cantonese. :)
Funky Friend from Hong Kong
Grand Central!
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