Later that Saturday noon we took a Greyhound bus to Washington D.C. – it’s a trip that takes almost 5 hours – in the emptiness, I realised the emptiness and loneliness in my heart. An emptiness that I always try to fill up with friends, fun, relationships, busy-ness, everything of the world. At the end of these endeavours, there’s this emptiness and unease and the feeling that I’m utterly far from God, living my own life and so so far from the Divine. And maybe it takes stuff like a long bus ride, for me to realise my emptiness, my evil, my loneliness.

I was wondering who I could call, who I could talk to, who I could sms. Someone who’d understand me and accept me and love me and who I could spend long hours with, and who’d not come with romantic issues (that cannot be resolved) that’d screw us up. And I could not come up with a person, I had to come to God. So I prayed and asked God to fill my hole and thanked Him for exposing the emptiness and dissatisfaction and lack of faith that characterised my life. It’s like a wound, that many many people have, but try to cover up with plasters. It sometimes takes something that God brings along to rip off the plaster and expose the gaping wound. And then we are left with no choice but to beg God for medicine.

I’m falling to my knees, I need you Lord to breathe in me. My prayer is still the same, my heart is calling out Your name.

Sweet anointing fill this place. I am found in your embrace.

Rain Down on me, Rain Down on me, here in your presence I am free. Pour down like rain, come and touch me again, Lord let your presence fall on me.