I'm in a San Francisco hostel, and it'll be my last time here. It's been good, and I'll fly off to Vegas later tonight.
Cool.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Friday, December 21, 2007
stop checking out the guys, jon, and chat with us...
... so said Alexius to me. We were at The Bar, a club at the Gay Mecca of the world, the Castro of San Francisco. But of course I needed to check out the guys, it was the thing to do in the gayest district in the gayest city in the world!
And truth be told, many gay guys are just damn hot lar. Everybody's sexuality is a continuum, between absolute homosexuality and absolute heterosexuality, and mine's probably 90 or 95% hetero. Which of course, means I have 5-10% of gayness and bisexuality to play with. I'd probably never have sex with a guy, or even come close, but sitting down and just looking at hot guys is cool.
Having said that, I really am pretty straight, so my support of gay rights and gay marriage is more a matter of empathy and principle more than anything.
Met this gay shopkeeper, and he gave me a couple of things from his shop as gifts. Took a photo with me too, but I didn't ask his name. He was married to a woman, discovered he was gay, and divorced, and had been living in SF for the past 30 years (he used to be British, now American). Way cool guy. He's dated men ever since his divorce. And his son tends the shop with him, and is also gay. Perhaps it's genetic and/or social after all.
And he asked me (for the first time in my life) if I had a boyfriend. And I was like yeah, I'm single, but I'm straight, and it's just that I really feel very strongly about homo rights. And he told me to have fun at night, but "not do anything (he'd) do". Ah, the British wit, he still hadn't lost it.
But I like gay bars. Had gone to a bar in Chapel Hill on gay night, and I went to 2 bars on consecutive nights in the Castro. Gay clubs tend to be more enjoyable, and less sleazy than straight ones. Gays tend to be nicer, more friendly, more helpful, more agreeable and considerate than straight clubbers. Straight clubbers (males) tend to be aggressive, in-your-face, inconsiderate, and shamelessly horny. I feel that we can have more good clean fun at a gay club than a straight club, cos gays probably appreciate the fact that we just want to have clean fun and keep out of trouble. Sensitivity and a feminine side make them nice and agreeable people to club with, while the excessive testosterone in their blood just makes many straight clubbers rowdy and downright dangerous. Ok I'm overgeneralising, many straight people (guys) are well-behaved too, but I've not seen one instance of misbehaviour in gay clubs while so many straight guys are getting into fights and molesting girls and other bullshit on Franklin Street on Chapel Hill. Whatever. Violence and rowdiness is not equal to manliness, and people need to learn this. But it seems that American society does seem to teach that violence and bad behaviour and molesting/raping girls are tentamount to manliness. The tragedy.
Hrm perhaps I'm so biased cos the only straight clubbers I've been seeing the past few months are stupid horny desperate violent underclassmen on Franklin Street. I hope that maturity will teach them to behave. As well as most of the gays are behaving.
Anyway.
It's so weird that the girls I know who share my ideas on homosexuality are so disagreeable to me in terms of character and compatibility. Girls who feel strongly about politics and social issues like me, just do not click with me. I probably just like girls who are intelligent and interested (in issues), not activist. The girl-next-door type who think with their hearts more than their heads.
And truth be told, many gay guys are just damn hot lar. Everybody's sexuality is a continuum, between absolute homosexuality and absolute heterosexuality, and mine's probably 90 or 95% hetero. Which of course, means I have 5-10% of gayness and bisexuality to play with. I'd probably never have sex with a guy, or even come close, but sitting down and just looking at hot guys is cool.
Having said that, I really am pretty straight, so my support of gay rights and gay marriage is more a matter of empathy and principle more than anything.
Met this gay shopkeeper, and he gave me a couple of things from his shop as gifts. Took a photo with me too, but I didn't ask his name. He was married to a woman, discovered he was gay, and divorced, and had been living in SF for the past 30 years (he used to be British, now American). Way cool guy. He's dated men ever since his divorce. And his son tends the shop with him, and is also gay. Perhaps it's genetic and/or social after all.
And he asked me (for the first time in my life) if I had a boyfriend. And I was like yeah, I'm single, but I'm straight, and it's just that I really feel very strongly about homo rights. And he told me to have fun at night, but "not do anything (he'd) do". Ah, the British wit, he still hadn't lost it.
But I like gay bars. Had gone to a bar in Chapel Hill on gay night, and I went to 2 bars on consecutive nights in the Castro. Gay clubs tend to be more enjoyable, and less sleazy than straight ones. Gays tend to be nicer, more friendly, more helpful, more agreeable and considerate than straight clubbers. Straight clubbers (males) tend to be aggressive, in-your-face, inconsiderate, and shamelessly horny. I feel that we can have more good clean fun at a gay club than a straight club, cos gays probably appreciate the fact that we just want to have clean fun and keep out of trouble. Sensitivity and a feminine side make them nice and agreeable people to club with, while the excessive testosterone in their blood just makes many straight clubbers rowdy and downright dangerous. Ok I'm overgeneralising, many straight people (guys) are well-behaved too, but I've not seen one instance of misbehaviour in gay clubs while so many straight guys are getting into fights and molesting girls and other bullshit on Franklin Street on Chapel Hill. Whatever. Violence and rowdiness is not equal to manliness, and people need to learn this. But it seems that American society does seem to teach that violence and bad behaviour and molesting/raping girls are tentamount to manliness. The tragedy.
Hrm perhaps I'm so biased cos the only straight clubbers I've been seeing the past few months are stupid horny desperate violent underclassmen on Franklin Street. I hope that maturity will teach them to behave. As well as most of the gays are behaving.
Anyway.
It's so weird that the girls I know who share my ideas on homosexuality are so disagreeable to me in terms of character and compatibility. Girls who feel strongly about politics and social issues like me, just do not click with me. I probably just like girls who are intelligent and interested (in issues), not activist. The girl-next-door type who think with their hearts more than their heads.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
The Obedience of a Christian Man
This's the title of one of the books I had to cover for the Reformation. It was written by William Tyndale, and passed to King Henry VIII to read. Eventually it influenced his decision to split from the Catholics and led to the English Reformation.
I was inspired by a poster I saw yesterday at Dallas Fortworth Airport. It read: Dallas Fortworth Supports Our Troops... Till Every One Of Them Is Home. My immediate reaction was: who asked you to send them there in the first place?
I eventually decided that it must be extremely hard to be a Christian and a Politician, indeed. Politicians are involved with popularity, with worldly affairs: everything Christ tells us not to be. George W Bush may not have felt that he needed to invade Afghanistan and Iraq (although, given his intelligence, he may have really felt that "God was telling him to invade Iraq"), but he had to do it as a show of force to his country and to the world. Maybe the circumstances then forced him to do the most un-Christian thing in the world. Anyway I hope that he stops this "God told me to invade Iraq"bullshit cos that's the most ridiculous thing in the world. If he opened his Bible he'd have realised that God told him to turn the other cheek and to forgive his enemies. Christ, upon being betrayed, forebode Peter's use of arms, reprimanded him, and healed the centurion's ear.
Of course, nobody can reach Christ's standard of morality, but let's admit that we cannot do it, rather than justify our worldliness and human desires by claiming "Christ told me to attack this country". Fight a war? Fine. Don't do it in the name of Christ and destroy His name further.
I believe that a true Christian is called to love God above everything, to love his neighbour as himself, to love his enemies, to turn the other cheek, to give up everything for God. It is not about saying the right things or, dare i say it, even believing the right things. Of course, Christ's divinity should not be denied, but some other things that Christian funddies focus on are just stupid. A person can truly believe that God created via Evolution and still be saved. Even our great friend C.S. Lewis believed in Evolution. Is a person damned just because he reads the Bible differently from you? Are the Catholics damned just because they believe in salvation by faith and works (which, may I remind you, is supported by much of Scripture) ? Don't be stupid.
The Obedience of a Christian Man is to live life in a loving, sacrificial, non-violent way, loving God and giving glory to God. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Theresa are good examples. Even Gandhi, though he was not Christian, embodied much of Christ's values. George W Bush has a long way to go. Ending a senseless war does so much more for Christ than the "teaching of Intelligent Design in schools".
I was inspired by a poster I saw yesterday at Dallas Fortworth Airport. It read: Dallas Fortworth Supports Our Troops... Till Every One Of Them Is Home. My immediate reaction was: who asked you to send them there in the first place?
I eventually decided that it must be extremely hard to be a Christian and a Politician, indeed. Politicians are involved with popularity, with worldly affairs: everything Christ tells us not to be. George W Bush may not have felt that he needed to invade Afghanistan and Iraq (although, given his intelligence, he may have really felt that "God was telling him to invade Iraq"), but he had to do it as a show of force to his country and to the world. Maybe the circumstances then forced him to do the most un-Christian thing in the world. Anyway I hope that he stops this "God told me to invade Iraq"bullshit cos that's the most ridiculous thing in the world. If he opened his Bible he'd have realised that God told him to turn the other cheek and to forgive his enemies. Christ, upon being betrayed, forebode Peter's use of arms, reprimanded him, and healed the centurion's ear.
Of course, nobody can reach Christ's standard of morality, but let's admit that we cannot do it, rather than justify our worldliness and human desires by claiming "Christ told me to attack this country". Fight a war? Fine. Don't do it in the name of Christ and destroy His name further.
I believe that a true Christian is called to love God above everything, to love his neighbour as himself, to love his enemies, to turn the other cheek, to give up everything for God. It is not about saying the right things or, dare i say it, even believing the right things. Of course, Christ's divinity should not be denied, but some other things that Christian funddies focus on are just stupid. A person can truly believe that God created via Evolution and still be saved. Even our great friend C.S. Lewis believed in Evolution. Is a person damned just because he reads the Bible differently from you? Are the Catholics damned just because they believe in salvation by faith and works (which, may I remind you, is supported by much of Scripture) ? Don't be stupid.
The Obedience of a Christian Man is to live life in a loving, sacrificial, non-violent way, loving God and giving glory to God. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mother Theresa are good examples. Even Gandhi, though he was not Christian, embodied much of Christ's values. George W Bush has a long way to go. Ending a senseless war does so much more for Christ than the "teaching of Intelligent Design in schools".
Sunday, December 16, 2007
the exchange experience has really met all my expectations, and more.
not because of the classes, cos i disliked them. other than the reformation one, of course, and maybe the astronomy one. not because of the place too, cos chapel hill is just another place.
probably cos of the school culture, and the people i met. must thank the gang with roy upchurch and friends, they really made my stay special. and the singapore gang too, for always being around, and for spending time with me, in our own unique and familiar singapore way (complete with the ultra-distinctive singapore accents that i could not speak with anybody else)
and of course the travelling... labor day weekend to mike's house and the beach, fall break to chicago with the singaporeans, thanksgiving to roy's place and the mountains. and now, post-exam, to the west coast with the singaporeans! it'll be great :)
not because of the classes, cos i disliked them. other than the reformation one, of course, and maybe the astronomy one. not because of the place too, cos chapel hill is just another place.
probably cos of the school culture, and the people i met. must thank the gang with roy upchurch and friends, they really made my stay special. and the singapore gang too, for always being around, and for spending time with me, in our own unique and familiar singapore way (complete with the ultra-distinctive singapore accents that i could not speak with anybody else)
and of course the travelling... labor day weekend to mike's house and the beach, fall break to chicago with the singaporeans, thanksgiving to roy's place and the mountains. and now, post-exam, to the west coast with the singaporeans! it'll be great :)
Friday, December 14, 2007
i wanted to escape from singapore, and from NUS, but now i'm going back :(
i wish i could stay longer - not to study, or attend classes, cos classes suck no matter where you attend them. but just to chill and be here, and to remain away from singapore.
oh well.
and on top of that, Carolina, and the rest of the USA, is really a fascinating place.
i think i just like the idea of being away, of starting a new life and experencing something new, of just starting afresh and leaving my old life at home.
i wish i could stay longer - not to study, or attend classes, cos classes suck no matter where you attend them. but just to chill and be here, and to remain away from singapore.
oh well.
and on top of that, Carolina, and the rest of the USA, is really a fascinating place.
i think i just like the idea of being away, of starting a new life and experencing something new, of just starting afresh and leaving my old life at home.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
i wish i could stay here longer, but it's been an interesting stay, and above all i learnt that this world is so big, and the opportunities are indeed limitless. it sounds so cliche, but us singaporeans like to keep our worldview to singapore, maybe malaysia and australia, but coming to the USA, and interacting with all kinds of people has made me realise that, really, we can access and live in any part of the world, if we put our minds to it. most of us are well-educated, and any country in the world would love to have a singaporean professional.
i've met people who've spent time in india, russia, latin america, south america, mexico, mongolia, south-east asia... the list is endless.
it'll be cool if i knew spanish, i'd be able to communicate with the vast majority in the world, if i had spanish added to my current repotoire of english and chinese.
and i've also found that, across all segments of humanity, our similarities far outweigh our differences. cultures may be different, but the human experience is common to all of our species. hope, pain, love, joy, sadness, loneliness, desire etc. ... every single human being experiences these, regardless of language and background. every human being desires to hear and be heard by someone else, and to communicate his feelings and thoughts. every human being needs to love and be loved in return, to know and be known in return.
i've met people who've spent time in india, russia, latin america, south america, mexico, mongolia, south-east asia... the list is endless.
it'll be cool if i knew spanish, i'd be able to communicate with the vast majority in the world, if i had spanish added to my current repotoire of english and chinese.
and i've also found that, across all segments of humanity, our similarities far outweigh our differences. cultures may be different, but the human experience is common to all of our species. hope, pain, love, joy, sadness, loneliness, desire etc. ... every single human being experiences these, regardless of language and background. every human being desires to hear and be heard by someone else, and to communicate his feelings and thoughts. every human being needs to love and be loved in return, to know and be known in return.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
i got my C.A. grades for my intro to entrepreneurship module, and i was like ten percentage points below the class average.
i hope i get my C+ and pass the module. tomorrow's my final exam.
i think i have neither the aptitude nor the passion for business. then on hindsight i thank God that He directed me to NUS rather than to SMU, for i'd probably have suffered much there. i'm way more an academic than a business guy.
probably the first time in university that i am officially below average, and it's a business module. i can do history, i can do science, i can do economics, heck i can even do religious studies. but not business. tsk.
but then we can argue that the nature of education in NUS moulded me such that i am now able to handle academic subjects very well but not more hands-on business subjects. but then it must show something about me that i did well, right from semester one in NUS and now i am struggling to pass a damned introduction to entrepreneurship module. actually i think it's so bad cos it's a lot of class discussion and nobody can understand my english so i just shut up and practically get zero for discussion.
oh well. again i should be thankful that i am in NUS rather than SMU. i am REALLY NOT the business type.
and back in 2005 i felt that God was leading me to a place where i would suffer. maybe He was preventing me from going to a place where i would suffer more.
i hope i get my C+ and pass the module. tomorrow's my final exam.
i think i have neither the aptitude nor the passion for business. then on hindsight i thank God that He directed me to NUS rather than to SMU, for i'd probably have suffered much there. i'm way more an academic than a business guy.
probably the first time in university that i am officially below average, and it's a business module. i can do history, i can do science, i can do economics, heck i can even do religious studies. but not business. tsk.
but then we can argue that the nature of education in NUS moulded me such that i am now able to handle academic subjects very well but not more hands-on business subjects. but then it must show something about me that i did well, right from semester one in NUS and now i am struggling to pass a damned introduction to entrepreneurship module. actually i think it's so bad cos it's a lot of class discussion and nobody can understand my english so i just shut up and practically get zero for discussion.
oh well. again i should be thankful that i am in NUS rather than SMU. i am REALLY NOT the business type.
and back in 2005 i felt that God was leading me to a place where i would suffer. maybe He was preventing me from going to a place where i would suffer more.
Monday, December 10, 2007
i didn't blog for 4 years! between 2003 and 2007.
i wish i had, then i'd be able to trace my thoughts during that time.
and laugh at myself.
at least i kept sporadic journal/spiritual journal entries during these years. after a while my spiritual journal became a diary cos i just linked everything together in one big clump - christianity and the rest of my life. it's quite cool.
i need to dig them out when i get back to singapore.
it's nice to be able to trace what we were like, last time.
i wish i had, then i'd be able to trace my thoughts during that time.
and laugh at myself.
at least i kept sporadic journal/spiritual journal entries during these years. after a while my spiritual journal became a diary cos i just linked everything together in one big clump - christianity and the rest of my life. it's quite cool.
i need to dig them out when i get back to singapore.
it's nice to be able to trace what we were like, last time.
3 weeks before going back, and I do wish that I had more time here in the US of A.
Today was probably my last time in Grace Church, took some pictures cos I really had fond memories there. The church is great, they really have good preaching that hits hard and challenges us to live lives for God, and yet they do it in a loving way and in a "try it cos God will reward you and you won't regret it" way, which is a nice way cos carrots always work better than sticks.
No, not in the 21st century.... sticks don't work anymore. The hell-fire and brimstone theology of earlier times has gone out of fashion.
I made some good friends here with the Americans and other internationals, and the weird thing is that I'll probably never ever meet them'all when I leave this country. Like NEVER NEVER EVER since we live on opposite ends of the globe. Really an interesting thought, like they're here for a season and gone forever. Really makes people think about the meaning of friendships.
At least the people in church say to me that "they'll see me in eternity", and I reply the same to them. It's a very beautiful thought, to spend forever and ever with people that are nice and lovely and whom we could not spend time with on this earth. But many of my friends are non-religious, and it's doubtful if we can share this same hope.
Today was probably my last time in Grace Church, took some pictures cos I really had fond memories there. The church is great, they really have good preaching that hits hard and challenges us to live lives for God, and yet they do it in a loving way and in a "try it cos God will reward you and you won't regret it" way, which is a nice way cos carrots always work better than sticks.
No, not in the 21st century.... sticks don't work anymore. The hell-fire and brimstone theology of earlier times has gone out of fashion.
I made some good friends here with the Americans and other internationals, and the weird thing is that I'll probably never ever meet them'all when I leave this country. Like NEVER NEVER EVER since we live on opposite ends of the globe. Really an interesting thought, like they're here for a season and gone forever. Really makes people think about the meaning of friendships.
At least the people in church say to me that "they'll see me in eternity", and I reply the same to them. It's a very beautiful thought, to spend forever and ever with people that are nice and lovely and whom we could not spend time with on this earth. But many of my friends are non-religious, and it's doubtful if we can share this same hope.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
I'm a bit confused by the blessings/humility conundrum. Are we supposed to ask for material blessings or suffering and poverty as Christians? I'm just very uncomfortable with the mega-church prosperity doctrine image. All these big churches and BMWs while people are poor and hungry, it seems to be similar to the Catholic Church building St. Peter's Basilica while the people were starving. Mother Theresa and the various Christian ascetics over the years, who gave their lives to live in monasteries and help the poor.... these people command so much more respect than Pastor Kong Hee or Joseph Prince or whoever.
Ok i just think it's fundementally wrong for Christians to be so rich. Or, if we were so rich, Christians should stop wondering why people aren't queueing up to convert ...
The irony is that I'm a rich badass myself. Ok not rich, but comfortable.
Well at least I confess that I'm a badass, I don't try to pretend that I'm doing great as a Christian, and come up with some "Prosperity Doctine" rubbish. Prosperity Doctrine is materialism masked in religious terms.
Anyway, on the topic of work and money, people are often enslaved to their work. Work eats up their lives. We should be looking at full lives, not full employment and high grades in school.
www.whywork.org
Ok i just think it's fundementally wrong for Christians to be so rich. Or, if we were so rich, Christians should stop wondering why people aren't queueing up to convert ...
The irony is that I'm a rich badass myself. Ok not rich, but comfortable.
Well at least I confess that I'm a badass, I don't try to pretend that I'm doing great as a Christian, and come up with some "Prosperity Doctine" rubbish. Prosperity Doctrine is materialism masked in religious terms.
Anyway, on the topic of work and money, people are often enslaved to their work. Work eats up their lives. We should be looking at full lives, not full employment and high grades in school.
www.whywork.org
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